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Family Law

More rights for couples?

More rights for couples?
By Judy Lin - Bee Capitol Bureau
Published 12:00 am PST Monday, December 18, 2006

Curtis Park residents Susan MacCulloch and Steven White split the mortgage, hold a joint checking account and take turns walking their 7-year-old Sheltie, Kiko. In all their 25 years together, they never needed a marriage license to say "I do."

But if one were to end up in the hospital, it's not clear whether the other partner would have all the medical decision-making powers afforded to spouses.

"If a decision has to be made about my health care, I want to make sure he's No. 1," said MacCulloch, 50.

MacCulloch and White, 51, could have one less thing to worry about under a proposal to extend the state's Domestic Partnership Registry to all committed, cohabitating couples over the age of 18. Currently, the registry is only open to same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples age 62 and older.

Sen. Carole Migden, D-San Francisco, who wrote the 1999 bill establishing the state's domestic partners registry, says her new bill, Senate Bill 11, would complete her original mission: to provide equity for those modern-day families that choose not to go down the conventional route of marriage.

Such a move could grant couples the same rights, protections and benefits as legally married couples such as health insurance coverage, adoption rights, death benefits and more.

Proponents of marriage, however, worry that Migden's proposal, if passed, could dilute the significance of legal unions. They call it bad public policy because it could be detrimental to children in those relationships.

"It institutionalizes what you call 'marriage lite' -- a relationship that is more likely to break up," said David Popenoe, founder and co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. "The main reason for the regulation and licensing of marriage in the first place is children, and you want to have a society where a lot of child-rearers stay together."

Currently, California is one of a handful of states with some type of a statewide domestic partnership registry. Vermont, for one, recognizes only same-sex couples, while Maine recognize both same- and opposite-sex couples.

In Washington, Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut and Rep. Barney Frank of Massachusetts have introduced a bill to grant same- and opposite-sex domestic partners of federal employees the benefits currently available to spouses.

"This isn't a divine radical idea," Migden said. "This is a bill that is a reflection of families today. You'd be hard-pressed to argue that children born today to unmarried parents ought not to be eligible for the same kind of benefits as their gay neighbors."

In California, there are an estimated 700,000 to 745,000 unmarried couples living together, according to Nicky Grist, executive director of the Alternatives to Marriage Project.

Grist says Migden's proposal would not only end age discrimination, but also discrimination against transgendered people who are unable to register as domestic partners because they are not legally same-sex.

"It's a great move because, in an ideal world, California would give everybody the right to marry and be partners," Grist said.

Since California's registry was created six years ago, nearly 40,000 couples have registered with the secretary of state. So far about 4,600 partnerships have been terminated, or 12 percent, which is low compared with the national divorce rate of close to 50 percent.

San Francisco residents Janna Cordeiro, 36, and her partner, Sebastian Toomey, 37, are happily unwed parents of a 4-year-old girl. Even before Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced they would not marry until gay and lesbian couples have the right to wed, Codeiro and Toomey said they wouldn't tie the knot until everyone has the right.

Cordeiro, however, says she would consider registering as domestic partners. Right now, Toomey couldn't be covered under her employer's health insurance plan if he were to leave his job at a bank to pursue another career.

"If it came down to health insurance or no health insurance, we would probably go and get married," Cordeiro said. "But that's not a reason to get married, in my opinion. Marriage is a very personal experience. I just don't think the state should do things that influence people's decision to get married or not."

Maggie Gallagher, president of the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, called the bill a disingenuous proposal because the idea of a domestic partnership was to address inequities for gay and lesbian couples.

"If cohabitating couples want the rights and benefits of marriage, they can marry," Gallagher said.

Other experts on contemporary families counter that what matters for children is not whether their parents have a license, but if they are living in a nurturing home.

"It's very dangerous to develop policy on averages," said Stephanie Coontz, author of "Marriage, a History." "Based on reality, the role of marriage has been transformed over the last 30 years."

Recent census figures show couples now are less likely to marry, or if they do, are putting it off until later in life.

The median age for first marriages went from age 20 for women and 23 for men in 1960 to 26 for women and 27 for men in 2005.

The number of people age 15 and older who are married has dropped 15 percentage points since 1960.

Meanwhile, the number of unmarried couples in America has increased. It's estimated that a quarter of unmarried women age 25 to 39 are living with a partner.

And while in 1960 only 9 percent of all children lived in single-parent families, that figure jumped to 28 percent in 2005.

Perhaps it was San Francisco's liberal influence, but White, who moved with MacCulloch to Sacramento in 1993, views the nation's high divorce rate as having the greatest impact on the institution of marriage.

"The divorce rate, it seems to me, has devalued the institution of marriage," White said. "There are just so many new and alternate lifestyles. The domestic partnership law is a recognition of societal changes, and maybe that's all it really is."

The two say they keep their relationship strong by talking through their differences. They stay close by escaping to the mountains for skiing and hiking.

"We've had friends who married after we got together and they're now divorced and we're still together," MacCulloch said. "I think if it's not broke, don't fix it."

From San Francisco Family Law Blog posted 2006-12-18.