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: Lag Liv

Babies and Dinosaurs

By Anonymous

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or: Parenting Advice from Jurassic Park

Last night I got home from the library around 11 having written FIVE whole pages for my cyber law paper. The writing of those five pages required a king sized box of Mike and Ike's, three chocolate stars, a Jimmy John's sandwich, chips, and chocolate chunk cookie, two diet cokes, and take-out pad thai. All that clicking to open up new Lexis windows works up quite an appetite. When I got home I kissed Landon good night and whispered to him that sleeping until 6 AM would be a wonderful Mother's Day gift. He must have misunderstood me because he was up at 3:30 crying and screaming and it took Motrin and then nearly 45 minutes to get him back to sleep. A few of the thoughts running through my head near the end:

Me, while patting then rubbing his back: Okay, his breathing has slowed... start rubbing slower and lighter... like I'm barely even there... Okay, good, no breathing changes... Now stop and just rest the hand lightly on his back. Alright, it's looking good, now take one step towards the door without moving the hand. Wait a second.. now slide the other foot over... very good. Now, slowly lift up the hand...

[a soft cry comes from the corner of the crib]

Me: FREEZE. Don't move - don't even breathe - and he won't see you. Wait, isn't that for a dinosaur? Like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park? Why would I think that would work? My god, I'm tired.

[Still frozen, but no longer sure why] Hmmm, it seems to be working though, maybe I can duck down and then crawl out the door.

[Crouch only to hear one big sustained wail coming from the Landon, curse out loud] I wonder when I need to stop saying bad words in front of him... probably now. Why, WHY won't he go back to sleep? I hate teeth. Alright, let's try the bouncing again... Wait, it's officially Mother's Day - daddy's turn!

[End Scene]

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there from me and the Landon:

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updated to add: He crawled for the first time! The hand, knee movement finally came together and he just crawled towards his toy truck. I'm really excited about his little milestone but it's also sinking in that our lives are never going to be the same again... the Landon has gone mobile.

Full post as published by Lag Liv on May 11, 2008 (boomark / email).