Home -> Law Blog Directory -> Law Humor Blogs -> Bernard Madoff

Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Look at the Wealth I'm Still Creating!- At least two book contracts already signed by others!

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times; "Only in America". At least two different so-called business journalists have just signed six figure contracts to write books about me. And those books might create millions in sales for THEM. Am I asking for anything from them??

Of course not. That wouldn't be fair. And lets face it, they can investigate all they want, but me and a few others are the only ones that know the real story, and I'm not going to share the secret sauce, why would I? This blog is where you're going to get the real juicy tidbits. Straight from me.

And for those that want to make a deal, my wonderful lawyer Ira Sorkin will be brokering all of the book, movie, and TV rights. If anyone wants an interview with me, that can be negotiated too. There's a picture of Ira to the right...He's a great negotiator, after all he struck a deal 15 years ago to settle with a bunch of people that thought I was running a Ponzi scheme back then. Or post a comment here and let me know how to get back to you.

And look at the way he's finessed my current deal with the Government!
I'm in my wonderful co-op on 64th, and now I even have the luxury of private guards. Just like the Hollywood celebs! What could be wrong with that?

And for those that think the Government is paying for those guards, you don't know what you're talking about. My wife is paying for them, not the Feds! And, its not cheap at all. I'm figuring its going to cost us at least $3000 a day. Do the math, that adds up to almost $100k a month!! That's not chump change; think of the income and wealth we're creating for others, and the city, state and federal taxes that they'll be paying!

But don't worry, the $100k a month isn't going to change our lifestyle, or our kids life style one bit. Just like we kept two sets of books at the office, we've kept plenty of other things hidden.

Sure, the Govt acted quicker than I thought when they put a freeze on my house in Montauk, and the place in Florida. Big deal. Do you think those are the only properties and assets? How do you think we're paying $3000 a day for private security?

Don't worry about me, or my kids, we've all got plenty of money, and nobody in our family is going to starve, or worry about a roof over our heads, or worry about the cars in the driveways, or the boats in the dock slips. Its all been paid for.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on December 20, 2008 (boomark / email).