Home -> Law Blog Directory -> Law Humor Blogs -> Bernard Madoff

Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

You Can't Fool All of the People All of The Time!! Which is Why I'm Innocent!

We all know that most journalists are hacks; they embellish and take out of context more than any Wall Street CEO or CFO could even dream of. But, while I'm sitting here chewing on my bagel and novy from Sable's, I need to make a public thank you to Michael Lewis!!

If you didn't read his editorial in today's NY Times (which has more slants
than a Chinese whorehouse) I have to recommend Michael's piece; it proves the case that Ira is already making to those wonderful prosecutors in the Southern District.

As Lewis pointed out, EVERYBODY that needed to know about my firm, especially the very attentive staff at the SEC, knew about our business. When you think about the dozens of third-parties that examined us over the years (even more closely than my own proctologist!), and the thousands of brokerage statements that we've sent out over the years, all of which included detailed information, its obvious that we did nothing wrong.

Which is exactly why nobody ever withdrew their money based on even the slightest concern that something was awry. OK, maybe the fucking people at Santander were getting queasy, but they didn't take their money out!! Instead, they ended up taking my assistant Jodi to dinner when they visited in November!!

So, this is really simple. If I did anything wrong, I didn't put a freeze on year end redemptions, which is exactly what many hedge fund managers did.

I'm not saying I'm not crazy, because Ira is insistent that I am. And if he says so, than it must be so. (BTW, Ira--Ruth says that the bathrobes are beautiful, but she said the striped ones are a bit tacky, so she's headed to Barney's today to exchange them..) BUT--like Abe Lincoln said, you can't fool all of the people all of the time...and if you can't, than the ridiculous allegations against me are trumped up... Speaking of Trump--anyone reading that he's in trouble again?? Anyone asking about how he keeps HIS books?? That guy has hosed more investors and more lenders than a fire department at a 5 alarm fire!!

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on January 04, 2009 (boomark / email).