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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Ruth's New Book: The Madoff Survivor's Guide; How To Get By On Only $15,000 A Month

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Thanks to my new investor Jane Wells at CNBC--she just got off the phone with Ruth and offered to work with her on a new book; "The Madoff Survivor's Guide: How to Live On Only $15,000 a Month!".. Janey--you're one smart cookie! That's much better of an idea than the next cook book that Ruth wanted to do! (Can you believe that she already spent $100k on the printing presses for that one: "Ruth Madoff's How To Cook The Books"

There's only one problem Janey; you need to get us a ghost writer--Trust me; Ruth couldn't figure out how to survive on less than $150k a month, and you think she can figure out how to spend less than $15k?? Oy. Not a chance.

Yes, Ruth, I'm talking about you! You think it's a secret that you spend more than a small country???!! Christ almighty! Do you realize that your credit score is better than the entire country of Spain? Yes, Ruth, Spain. Read the papers, it was just downgraded today to junk status, I'm talking the entire f--king country!! (Not because Santander had money with us!!) Just thank me for not putting our money there!!

But Janey, you're absolutely right--a book on how to downsize and how you can live almost as well, but spend less makes for perfect timing.
Chapter 1. Bring your Bloomie's shopping bag to the country club Sunday night buffet. I know they'll let you do that at Boca Rio, Glen Oaks, Fresh Meadows and at Palm Beach Country Club.. just ask my sister, her kids take home doggie bags the size of a truck!
Chapter 2. Turn in that 550 SEL for a Lexus. They drive better! (Janey, can we get Lexus to pay for the endorsement??)
Chapter 3. Cut back on the housekeeper from 4x a week to 2x a week.. We can probably right an entire book on "How to Clean Your House.."

Janey--I'm the idea guy--and Ruth is already a known author--but she'll need your help on the actual tips...And trust me, Mark's wife isn't up to speed on any of these things either..

I know at least 4000 people that will buy it! I've go the mailing list!! And, I can line up investors, especially when I tell them you're an investor too!!! Better yet, we'll get the Noel's to help raise the money for the ghost writer and the promotion, they love great ideas like this!!

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on January 12, 2009 (boomark / email).

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