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Mid-Day With Madoff- Redeeming Ruth

Ruth-

I just called Equinox and they said that you were busy 'decompressing'. I don't know what the f--k that means, but if you get this message, you might want to stop by Teterboro and "check on the bird".

Some muck racker at Bloomberg is blabbering about how you took out $5 mil the day after Thanksgiving, and another $10 mil on Dec 10. I know that it was just part of your monthly allowance, but they don't. By the time the story goes around the internet, some people are going to get the wrong idea about the timing.

And, as much as I expected the clawyers to focus on the story about that Melissa Nappan in San Francisco (a big shot lawyer no less), and her blabbing about how she took out all of her money from BMIS this past September, the shmendrick prosecutors in Massachusetts are turning your withdrawal into a witch hunt.

Why Mark bought that f--king mansion in Nantucket is beyond me--and its obvious that dopamine Jaffe crapped in his pants and blabbered to them about something he doesn't know anything about. (Jodi-take a note and send that idiot another case of Madoff Toilet Paper..just scroll down the right column of this page and click on Buy Now. Put it on Cohmad's charge account. While you're at it, send a few rolls to Sonny Cohn).

But, anyway Ruth, MA doesn't even have any jurisdiction over you.. So just relax. Ira will figure this out.
Next:

Andy- Talk about blabbing! When I need you to give me a "heads up", I'll let you know!! In the meantime, this is what I just got back from the guy that owns the bank in Antigua (that's his picture up on the left):

To: Bernard L. Madoff
From: Sir Allen Stanford,
Chairman, Stanford International Bank, Ltd., Antigua

Dear Bernie:

Just because I'm from Texas, doesn't mean that I'm slow. I read in between the lines that note your son Andy posted on your blog, and I'm pissed.

And don't tell me to "go buy a case of Madoff's Pisher Pads, just scroll down the right column..." I've already bought two cases of your Madoff Toilet paper! BTW-It is very soft.

1. Irregardless of what irresponsible journalists such as Alex Dalmady might want to blog about, let me personally assure you that your funds are perfectly safe, and that our depositors have immediate access to their accounts. Just yesterday, my wife was able to withdraw $22 million. And, this morning, my girlfriend was able to take out the $2 million that she had on deposit.

That Dalmady guy is more ornery than a porcupine in heat, and he's even less credible than that Greek guy that's been screaming fire about you.

Although our unaudited reports indicate that we invest in stocks and bonds, you and I both know we couldn't possibly have been producing low-double digit returns in stocks and bonds in the past two years. Instead, we've been using the "split-head strategy"; lending money at aggressive loan rates with a risk management approach that includes splitting the heads of people that don't pay up on time. A technique that I learned on the ranch in Texas.

3. The accusation made by your son that we use the "Invisible Man" as our auditor is preposterous. I'd have him call you personally to confirm that, but I don't see him at the moment; I think he stepped out of the office. I won't say more about that.

4. Juan Rodriguez, SIB's President, has faxed over a copy of your recent wire transfer request. As you know, the majority of your holdings are in the form Certificates of Deposit. Terminating a CD prior to maturity presents some complications for us. Pursuant to Antigua banking regulations, we require a 30 day advance notification on any such requests.

I don't think this will present any problems, especially since I just read this morning that you've received a 30-day extension on your legal situation. I'm guessing this will lead to another 30-day extension.

If you were smart, you'd have domiciled in Antigua like I did. It can take months for clerks to even show up at the court house in order to process paperwork.

Hopefully this addresses your concerns. More importantly, I trust that you, and your son will be more tactful when discussing the affairs of our bank. Even though the SEC and other regulators don't take blogs seriously, having passed our last SEC exam with flying colors, there's no need to rock the boat in a public forum

Best regards to Baby Ruth!
Allen

Next-

I've been bored silly watching Barney Fife (Sorry, I mean Frank..) and those other knuckleheads on my 52" screen. Just like I predicted yesterday, these senators and congressmen are wasting valuable television time by using up their 5 minutes of question and answer to spout out rhetorical questions and not give anyone the time to answer them!

What? Someone expected Pandit or Lewis to say that they took their FART money and lent it out to subprime homeowners?? Of course they didn't!! Neither did any of the rest of them! Who said they had to???? And why should they??

They need to lend to qualified, reliable customers! And, what Lewis didn't even have the chance to say is that BofA is actually increasing credit lines for lots of people. I got a brand new credit card with a $10k line of credit just last week!!! Trust me, that's completely true!

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on February 11, 2009 (boomark / email).