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Weekend at Bernie's, A totally guys' weekend

By Steve Lombardi

The Madoff investors who lost billions have to be fuming over the trustee's discovery of $75 million quietly sitting in Gibraltar while Madoff stays mum. Consider for a moment that the entire Bernie Madoff investment dream team remains sitting on the sidelines crying poverty while an account with $75 million waits for the commotion to settle down and someone to purchase a plane ticket to cash in. That would be some ride. Can you imagine how fast your heart would beat thinking of this pay day?

'March 23 (Bloomberg) -- The assets of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC that investigators have tracked to Gibraltar are worth about $75 million, raising to $1 billion the amount a trustee has recovered for investors, a lawyer said.'

So how can we get more information out of old Bernie?

Well how about if instead of a cozy federal detention center he were sitting in Riker's Island, San Quentin State Prison or some other hell hole? Would the inmates knowing there is probably more money to be had, be more adept at obtaining the location of other accounts, assuming they exist? The cell block might take on a whole new ambiance. With everyone clamoring for a weekend at Bernie's cell he might be more forthcoming with information.

Charge him with state crimes, convict him and then pry old Bernie from the fed's grip so you can plant him in a real prison; not one of the federal correction centers. A place like Rikers Island or San Quentin; a prison where prisoners like to hang around with guys who have information about where there is hidden money.

There might even be an investor or two wanting to know that Old-Bernie-Mad-e-off-With-Your-Dough is squeeling like he were a pig eating bacon on the set of Deliverance.

Here is the list of country clubs where you can find Bernie schmoozing for new investors.

The total population is 201,518 inmates.

1. Federal Correctional Complex, Beaumont -- Beaumont, Texas

2. Federal Correctional Complex, Butner -- Butner, North Carolina

3. Federal Correctional Complex, Coleman -- Coleman, Florida

4. Federal Correctional Complex, Petersburg -- Petersburg, Virginia

5. Federal Correctional Complex, Terre Haute -- Terre Haute, Indiana

6. Federal Correctional Institution, Allenwood -- Montgomery, Pennsylvania

7. Federal Correctional Institution, Ashland -- Ashland, Kentucky

8. Federal Correctional Institution, Bastrop -- Bastrop, Texas

9. Federal Correctional Institution, Beaumont -- Beaumont, Texas

10. Federal Correctional Institution, Beckley -- Beaver, West Virginia

11. Federal Correctional Institution, Bennettsville -- Bennettsville, South Carolina

12. Federal Correctional Institution, Big Spring -- Big Spring, Texas

13. Federal Correctional Institution, Butner -- Butner, North Carolina

14. Federal Correctional Institution, Coleman -- Coleman, Florida

15. Federal Correctional Institution, Cumberland -- Cumberland, Maryland

16. Federal Correctional Institution, Danbury -- Danbury, Connecticut

17. Federal Correctional Institution, Dublin -- Dublin, California

18. Federal Correctional Institution, Edgefield -- Edgefield, South Carolina

19. Federal Correctional Institution, El Reno -- El Reno, Oklahoma

20. Federal Correctional Institution, Elkton -- Elkton, Ohio

21. Federal Correctional Institution, Englewood -- Lakewood, Colorado

22. Federal Correctional Institution, Estill -- Estill, South Carolina

23. Federal Correctional Institution, Fairton -- Fairton, New Jersey

24. Federal Correctional Institution, Florence -- Florence, Colorado

25. Federal Correctional Institution, Forrest City -- Forrest City, Arkansas

26. Federal Correctional Institution, Fort Dix -- Fort Dix, New Jersey

27. Federal Correctional Institution, Fort Worth -- Fort Worth, Texas

28. Federal Correctional Institution, Gilmer -- Glenville, West Virginia

29. Federal Correctional Institution, Greenville -- Greenville, Illinois

30. Federal Correctional Institution, Herlong -- Herlong, California

31. Federal Correctional Institution, Jesup -- Jesup, Georgia

32. Federal Correctional Institution, La Tuna -- Anthony, Texas

33. Federal Correctional Institution, Lompoc -- Lompoc, California

34. Federal Correctional Institution, Loretto -- Loretto, Pennsylvania

35. Federal Correctional Institution, Manchester -- Manchester, Kentucky

36. Federal Correctional Institution, Marianna -- Marianna, Florida

37. Federal Correctional Institution, McKean -- Bradford, Pennsylvania

38. Federal Correctional Institution, Memphis -- Memphis, Tennessee

39. Federal Correctional Institution, Mendota -- Mendota, California

40. Federal Correctional Institution, Miami -- Miami, Florida

41. Federal Correctional Institution, Milan -- Milan, Michigan

42. Federal Correctional Institution, Morgantown -- Morgantown, West Virginia

43. Federal Correctional Institution, Oakdale -- Oakdale, Louisiana

44. Federal Correctional Institution, Otisville -- Otisville, New York

45. Federal Correctional Institution, Oxford -- Oxford, Wisconsin

46. Federal Correctional Institution, Pekin -- Pekin, Illinois

47. Federal Correctional Institution, Phoenix -- Phoenix, Arizona

48. Federal Correctional Institution, Ray Brook -- North Elba, New York

49. Federal Correctional Institution, Safford -- Safford, Arizona

50. Federal Correctional Institution, Sandstone -- Sandstone, Minnesota

51. Federal Correctional Institution, Schuylkill -- Minersville, Pennsylvania

52. Federal Correctional Institution, Seagoville -- Seagoville, Texas

53. Federal Correctional Institution, Sheridan -- Sheridan, Oregon

54. Federal Correctional Institution, Talladega -- Talladega, Alabama

55. Federal Correctional Institution, Tallahassee -- Tallahassee, Florida

56. Federal Correctional Institution, Terminal Island -- Terminal Island, California

57. Federal Correctional Institution, Texarkana -- Texarkana, Texas

58. Federal Correctional Institution, Three Rivers -- Three Rivers, Texas

59. Federal Correctional Institution, Tucson -- Tucson, Arizona

60. Federal Correctional Institution, Victorville -- Adelanto, California

61. Federal Correctional Institution, Waseca -- Waseca, Minnesota

62. Federal Correctional Institution, Williamsburg -- Salters, South Carolina

63. Federal Correctional Institution, Yazoo City -- Yazoo City, Mississippi

64. Federal Detention Center, Honolulu -- Honolulu, Hawaii

65. Federal Detention Center, Houston -- Houston, Texas

66. Federal Detention Center, Miami -- Miami, Florida

67. Federal Detention Center, Oakdale -- Oakdale, Louisiana

68. Federal Detention Center, Philadelphia -- Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

69. Federal Detention Center, SeaTac -- Seattle, Washington

70. Federal Medical Center, Carswell -- Fort Worth, Texas

71. Federal Medical Center, Devens -- Devens, Massachusetts

72. Federal Medical Center, Fort Worth -- Fort Worth, Texas

73. Federal Medical Center, Lexington -- Lexington, Kentucky

74. Federal Medical Center, Rochester -- Rochester, Minnesota

75. Federal Prison Camp, Alderson Alderson, West Virginia

76. Federal Prison Camp, Allenwood -- Montgomery, Pennsylvania

77. Federal Prison Camp, Bryan -- Bryan, Texas

78. Federal Prison Camp, Devens -- Devens, Massachusetts

79. Federal Prison Camp, Duluth -- Duluth, Minnesota

80. Federal Prison Camp, Eglin -- Eglin Air Force Base, Florida

81. Federal Prison Camp, Leavenworth -- Leavenworth, Kansas

82. Federal Prison Camp, Montgomery -- Montgomery, Alabama

83. Federal Prison Camp, Nellis -- North Las Vegas, Nevada

84. Federal Prison Camp, Pensacola -- Pensacola, Florida

85. Federal Prison Camp, Seymour Johnson -- Goldsboro, North Carolina

86. Federal Prison Camp, Yankton -- Yankton, South Dakota

87. Federal Secure Low La Tuna -- El Paso, Texas

88. Federal Transfer Center, Oklahoma City -- Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

89. United States Medical Center for Federal Prisoners -- Springfield, Missouri

90. Metropolitan Correctional Center, Chicago -- Chicago, Illinois

91. Metropolitan Correctional Center, New York -- New York, New York

92. Metropolitan Correctional Center, San Diego -- San Diego, California

93. Metropolitan Detention Center, Brooklyn -- Brooklyn, New York

94. Metropolitan Detention Center, Guaynabo -- Guaynabo, Puerto Rico

95. Metropolitan Detention Center, Los Angeles -- Los Angeles, California

96. United States Penitentiary, Allenwood -- Montgomery, Pennsylvania

97. United States Penitentiary, Atlanta -- Atlanta, Georgia

98. United States Penitentiary, Atwater -- Atwater, California

99. United States Penitentiary, Beaumont -- Beaumont, Texas

100. United States Penitentiary, Big Sandy -- Inez, Kentucky

101. United States Penitentiary, Florence -- Florence, Colorado

102. United States Penitentiary, Leavenworth -- Leavenworth, Kansas

103. United States Penitentiary, Lee -- Jonesville, Virginia

104. United States Penitentiary, Lewisburg -- Lewisburg, Pennsylvania

105. United States Penitentiary, Lompoc -- Lompoc, California

106. United States Penitentiary, Marion -- Marion, Illinois

107. United States Penitentiary, McCreary -- McCreary County, Kentucky

108. United States Penitentiary, Pollock -- Pollock, Louisiana

109. United States Penitentiary, Terre Haute -- Terre Haute, Indiana

110. United States Penitentiary, Victorville -- Victorville, California

Originally posted at InjuryBoard by Steve Lombardi

Full post as published by Des Moines Personal Injury Lawyer on March 24, 2009 (boomark / email).