Law Humor

Special Arrangements

To: Peter
From: From Your Brother. You Know Who.

RE: SeekingArrangement.com

It seems that every time I turn around in here, which isn't either safe or easy to do, I'm hearing about some other problem going on outside with the family.

While Ira is busy trying to get special arrangements for everyone, Walter sent me a note telling me that not only is one of his daughters shopping for a "Sugar Daddy"on some crazy on-line site, but that he found YOUR f--king profile on her laptop!!!

What could you possibly be thinking??? Just because the asset freeze was lifted, you really think its a good idea to be trolling around on the internet and trying to snatch some snatch?? And, of all people to hook up with!!?? Christ almighty--with the money that family made from us, these kids need you, of all people, to be a "sugar daddy"??

This is something I'd have expected from Andy--maybe even Mark, but not you!

Oy. I have to tell everyone everything??

Next: Like I said yesterday--"Bernie" is a brand--and what a surprise that a day after I said this, the NY Times Business Section runs a front page story talking about how certain brands get even more valuable, even after their stores close!

Next:
To: Lloyd Blankfein

I'm hearing that you're about to blow the FART right back in Barnie Flubber's face. What can I say, other than "good trade"! God-forbid anyone at my firm could be trading so smart when I'm not there.

Sure, I'm like Midas the Trading Monster trading from my laptop in here--and anyone that's following this blog will see that I've made two trades in gold in the past month that scored $100/oz moves both times, and I traded the S&P to make 10% in 30 days. But, I gotta give credit when credit is due to the people over at Goldman.

Listen, I'm thinking Goldman is the perfect shop to be packaging all of the tax vehicles that we're creating. You've already figured out that our investors have hundreds of millions in carryforwards that can be packaged, and if you're interested, my son Mark is looking for a new job. He could be a great relationship manager--lots of friends over at STA, and down at SEC.

Last--I know who's visiting this blog, and I'm telling you that you can afford to leave a gratuity. $50 is the average. So do the right thing...

And, to you advertisers, we're knocking the cover off the ball with visit stats and DMA's, so rates are going up next month. If you want in, we've got 3 special packages. But only if you've got a referral from someone. Scroll to the right and Ask Me A Question.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on April 14, 2009 (boomark / email).