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Boggling, Just Totally Boggling!

Art Nadel and I were playing backgammon last night, and all we could say after sharing stories about how we wound up in this place is .."This is mind-boggling!"

We didn't gab, but we did follow the rules of GABS--Generally Accepted Business Standards; just like the people over at Goldman did when they changed their year-end date and somehow, the $1billion hit they took in December didn't actually work into their latest earnings release.

Buying a lousy $200k car for a key executive of a private business is somehow a big deal, but when you read about all this FART and TALC and all the other money being moved around like a 3 card Monty Game on the boardwalk, well, its f--king infuriating that nice guys like me should be treated so badly.

AIG? Makes anyone want to pee. But that's old news.

PR Tips..

1. To Lloyd over at Goldman:
You might want to call that guy Starkman, the one that's managing PR for the kids. You guys suing some shlameel bloggger that's got nothing better to do than bad mouth your people and make crazy accusations is just nuts. Even if the guy is using your 'brand' name, nobody pays attention to bloggers, so suing him is worth millions in free publicity for him, and then people might actually reads what he's writing.

Almost as dumb as Sonny D. suing his ex daughter-in-law in NJ for who knows what? It was her fault that NYSE fired his knucklhead son after they found porno and crazy racist emails he sent from his office computer?? Makes no sense. Let me tell you, being in a place likes this, we get access to all of the court system records, so we see all kinds of stuff that's just crazy!

The point is, suing people brings on a lot of attention, and there are some things you just don't want to publicize, you know what I mean??

Did you ever see me publicizing anything?? Of course not!! Walter and his people liked to publicize, the Sonja's liked to publicize, Ezra liked to publicize. Not me. That stuff just comes back to bite you.

2. To My Boys: You haven't come to visit, which I suppose is fine. Your perogative. You don't think I knew that you were always busy counting my money?? But call your Mother. Don't make me tell you again.

But, Mark-this stuff I'm reading about you doing some kind of a deal with NBC is nuts. Way too soon. If you keep it up, that crazy guy Ackerman is going to propose a "Boys of Bernie" law that keeps you kids from keeping any money from any of those endorsements, the movie deals or the book deals. Speaking of book deals--mazel to my little friend Erin..

(And Mark, you should maybe give that Erin Arvedlund a call..I'm thinking you can help make her book a blockbuster best-seller, and then she can figure out how to run the commissions through Cohmad..speak to Marcia about setting that up..)

Last tip--there's a gratuity box over to the right column. What with everybody getting so many chuckles out of this, its only right to "tip the whipper" .

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on April 17, 2009 (boomark / email).