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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Musing about the new Muse..

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You people are making me crazy. Ira-take a note; when it comes time for sentencing, and after you get the delays, you need to explain that I've been twitching like a fucking Energizer Bunny what with all of this mishegos.

1. There's a kid named Abby Muse that just moved into the room next to mine. Ira, I didn't expect this to be a Park avenue co-op in here, but this is beyond the pale, Oy, sorry - beyond the limit.

No disrespect to our President for whom I voted and to whom I contributed almost as much as I did to Schumer, but I never saw a schvartza so black! I mean like a sunburn on top of the blackest guy you ever saw.. and in shakles and chains and screaming in some African language. I don't even want to discuss the body odor.

You know that I'm very sensitive to filth and bad odor, so, Ira, PLEASE make sure to get me some more Soapopular and a few cases of Fabreze. I'm certain that MCC will pay for it, all of the guards in here are begging me to help them. It's just like the old days!

2. Tell Silverman over at NBC that since "Blago" was just shit-canned by the court and won't be allowed to appear on that "reality TV" show down in Costa Rica, we might be willing to make a deal that has Pete, Mark and Shana.

But this is an all-or-none trade; he either signs them all to the show, or Mark is going to plant himself in Nantucket and Shana will start talking to the people over at Fox. And don't count Andy in on this deal. He's pre-occupied. Or so he says.

3. Dopamine. I'm a little confused about he's got the balls to be stuffing his face at fancy shmancy places in Palm Beach like Chez Pierre while sweet Nan Borgiono is having her husband Rudy call me asking me to send them some "more crumbs.". I tried to explain to Rudy that he should call DiPascali, but Frankie's not picking up his cell.

4. No, I can't explain again why I can't explain why only 30 or so people have gotten their SIPC checks. Do I look like Steve Harbeck????

To you people down in Florida that keep asking me: That "special House Finance Committee" has got a shitload on their plate, and like Sanford said, they couldn't find a hole if it had hair on it, so their interest in finding out why SIPC isn't making good on their promises isn't a suprise to anyone.

And who the hell told you people to put all of your eggs in one basket??? Did Walter Noel do that??? Of course not!--He didn't even do that with his Easter Egg basket!! He was bleeding us dry with redemptions so that his people could buy those fancy townhouses and mansions all over the place!!

Sure that started back last Spring, but we covered ourselves then. Remember?

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on April 22, 2009 (boomark / email).