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Legal Writing

: Set in Style

A Real Has Been

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Consider this intro to an attorney’s biography:

So & So has been with the firm since 1963. His primary areas of practice include litigation and lobbying.

He has also had considerable experience in eminent domain and election law.

Now, consider the phrase:

He has also had . . . .

What’s wrong with that phrase?

____________
Several things:

  1.  Like the two sentences before it, it’s simple. Readers quickly tire of a succession of simple sentences.
  2. It’s got more words than necessary. The phrase He also has works better, and contains 25% less copy.
  3. It’s too formal. 
____________
 Suppose a potential client is looking for information about an attorney. Do you suppose he wants to spend more time on that than he must?   

Of course not!

Well . . . if he’s not looking for a firm that takes too long (and charges too much) to get to the point, don’t suggest that your firm does that.

Heck, use the intro to demonstrate your firm’s commitment to excellence and illustrate it’s ability to pay close attention to detail.

 

Full post as published by Set in Style on May 28, 2009 (boomark / email).

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