Law Humor

Madoff Mailbag

To: All my wonderful friends.
Including my cousins, and the other boys over at Sable's!

I just wanted to let everyone know that I've only received 3 victim impact statements to-date, and it's imperative that anyone that thinks they have a sad story to tell, send them in by 6/10.

The letters should detail the devastation that this crime has wrought ... and should include numbers, e.g., numbers of years worked, $$$ if willing to do so, etc.

Please try to avoid statements that include having to relinquish golf club memberships, or the pain and suffering that you've endured by having to put your second home up for sale.

Even I, the venerable Judge Chin, must consider downsizing my own property portfolio, but do I look devastated?? No! My fortune cookie says that all will be well!

The only letters that I have received so far have come from a Mr. Friehling and a Mr. Konigsberg and that very funny fellow, Bobby Dopamine. We need more letters people!!

In any event, Letters should be emailed to:

usanys.madoff@usdoj.gov

P.S. I also received a Ruth Chris Restaurant $250 gift certificate from someone named Hooper. I can't accept this, so I will be happy to auction it off to the highest bidder, and the proceeds of course will go to a worthy cause. Click here to submit your bid, your contact information, and of course, your credit card information!

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 03, 2009 (boomark / email).