Law Humor

Over The Hump

After Shana's husband emailed me and said that his friends at SEC have been sitting on the edge of their seats for the past two days waiting for a fresh blog, it would seem that Nan is falling behind on making sure that your "statements" get sent out properly.

So, "Mister Midas", once again I have to deal with putting out these fires. Its not enough that the people at BofA bumped up the rates on my credit card again--no thanks to your pissing on them through your blog!

BTW--Mom told my kids that you've got another roommate at your new club, and that his name was "Schwartz". Mom's a pistol, but when I read who Mom was talking about--his photo is to the left-- I'd prefer you tell her not to use phrases like "shwartza" with my kids.

I know that it must be traumatic for you to be sharing dining facilities with the new pirate/terrorist team of Ahmed and Abby--but when Mom starts emailing the kids with "Your Grandfather is playing cards with Amos and Andy..", it confuses them, and they've got enough problems dealing with their own last name, so they don't need Mom teaching them phrases that aren't exactly socially acceptable anyplace other than maybe one of your country clubs.

Anway--just thought I'd let you know that Andy's attempt to auction off that Morton's gift certificate that Mom sent for his birthday was a major hit. Not a big surprise how much was raised when you think about who comes to the blog every day.

We counted more than 100 bid/donations, and Stone Point actually submitted three, bringing in more than 18,000 Bernie Dollars in total. Andy was surprised when he saw a credit card receipt for "Tannenbaum", but we both thought you'd like to know that your friend Ezra submitted a bid/donation too; for a whopping $25.00.

Talk about cheap! The guy made how much in commissions?? And all he could do was bid $25 for a $250 Morton's Steak House Gift Certificate?? I told Andy to send him a $25 coupon to Burger King as a door prize. Maybe he'll figure it out.

"E. Spitzer" was actually the winner; and instead of using PayPal, he actually submitted a US Postal Money Order as the payment! Ha! We've been laughing for three days over that, and making it that much easier for Andy to cash it. All he needs to do is get up the nerve to walk into a post office!

Thought you'd also like to know that there are now more than 2500 different plaintiff law suits that have been filed. If you run into your friend Mel Weiss, tell him not to worry, at the rate that Picard is moving, these things are going to go on for years, and Mel is going to be out well in time to get in on the action.

I'm guessing that half of the lawyers that filed the suits are going to drop dead from old age before these things get settled, and its certain that most of the claimants will--so Mel can pick up the pieces and represent the heirs.

Me? I'm staying up in Nantucket for the summer. No need to be in Greenwich.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 10, 2009 (boomark / email).