Law Humor

Sentencing Stimulas

Tim:
Thanks again for lunch last week, and for seeking my input.

As I've stated before, the SEC's constipation is the root of the financial chaos that's resulted from Mr. Mad-off's misbehaving. Which explains why Herrick Feinstein has recruited me as an expert in their litigation.

But, with Mr. Madoff's sentencing date rapidly approaching, we can't lose sight of the fact that litigation by and against SIPC, the Bankruptcy Court, the SEC, the DOJ, and all of the feeders have otherwise caused to delay the payment of legitimate claims to those that are legally entitled to being reimbursed.

While laws can be changed or ignored, my point is: its obvious that whatever jail sentence might be imposed on Mr. Mad-off directly, the chances of legitimate claimants getting paid any time before Mr. Mad-off completes his jail sentence are slim.

The fact there is no claw back in process re:the $250 million redeemed by Mr. Dimon's firm in the fall of 2008, just three months before Mr. Mad-Off's scheme was uncovered merely proves that there is no serious effort being taken by anyone, as the influencers are once again appearing to be under the influence. It could be a result of those alcohol-based hand sanitizers that have been introduced to several office buildings here in Washington. I for one have opted to use the alcohol-free variety.

In fact, it took me less than 20 minutes to crunch the numbers and review the statements issued by SIPC and Mr. Picard's office to conclude that anyone that invested in Mr. Mad-Off's firm prior to 1993, their odds of getting any satisfaction within the next 15 years is a 4:5 bet.

Unless of course, Judge Chin has already sent an internal memo to SEC and given some staff members advance notice, which means that at least several people are already placing wagers on those unregulated off-shore wagering platforms and tilting the odds.

So, Tim, as you requested at the urging of Barney Fife, I mean Frank, in addition to my believing that regulators should be paid bonuses and finder's fees for uncovering frauds, and that the Bankruptcy Trustee commissions should be raised to 7% on assets recovered (instead of the current compensation cap of 3%), the need to create a cash pool for the victims of Mr. Mad-Off can be stimulated--and I know you like stimulus packages--by promoting a "paramutual pool", whereby investors, or any other speculators, including media muckrakers, can wager on the sentence that will be delivered by Judge Chin next week.

After conferring with the many market-maker friends that I have on Wall Street, and with a number of criminal defense lawyers that have provided input on the formulas used for federal sentencing guidelines, my game plan will be unveiled before noon today, or at least well-before the sentencing session is scheduled for.

With your authorization, the actual game will go live, not just on Mr. Mad-off's blog, but on a community of blogs and websites, so that many people can place their bets within whatever venue they want.

Of course, only Bernie's Blog should be entitled to collect donations, while the rest can simply collect the votes themselves.

Thank you for your time, Tim. Please come back to the blog this afternoon, and hopefully I will be ready to launch after lunch.

Harry

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 24, 2009 (boomark / email).