Law Humor

NBC Scores Madoff Deal..

Bernie, baby!

Listen, now that the votes are pouring in, its obvious that you're one popular guy, and the ratings are going through the roof!

I even put down a $20 on 20!

But, I know that you've got a lot on your mind and your practicing your lines, and that today is going to be hectic, but let's firm up a deal before breakfast New York time.

The first thing we want is the rights to the blog. We can put out the paperback edition in under two weeks. Your idea about a follow "retrospective", written from the new club is f--king brilliant. Borowitz will shit his pants!

The next thing on the list is Ruth's book, "Madoff's Guide on How To Live on Only $15k a Month"; it was a brilliant idea back in January, and its even more brilliant now that Ruthie is going to be practicing what she'll be preaching.

Christ, even I can't believe that she's going to have to figure out how to get by with only $2.5 million!

But here's the beautiful part: now that Kate and John's ratings are going into the toilet, a weekly show with Ruthie will get an audience 10x bigger than Kate and John.

We'll pay Ruthie $100k per episode, 20 show minimum. We can put repeat rights into an escrow. Between the additional income, and the stash in Zurich, she won't really have to figure out how to get by on $15k a month, but reality TV is just like WWF, so not to worry.

(And that shot of Ruthie on the subway--brilliant. I couldn't have staged that better myself!)

If your boys want in, we'll pay them each $10k per month, but only if we can get the Hooper chick. Tell Andy I'll pay her $25k a week. But she'll have to audition first.
With the boys, I'm thinking we can have some tantrums, some crying fits, and we'll throw in a little bit of bitch-slapping every week.

Listen Bernie, sponsors are already calling me every ten minutes. If we need to get down to brass tacks, I'll throw in 5 pts from the ad revenue.

Hit me on the blackberry before the sentencing.
Benny

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 29, 2009 (boomark / email).