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: Bernard Madoff

Its a Sonny Day

Sure, while you're all baking in the sun, I'm getting blisters on my butt, but worse still, a bunch of you know-nothings are blistering my family.

If Artie Nadel weren't shvitizing and whining like a stuck pig, I'd take the time to tell you what I really think, and who I really am.

But before I let you figure out for yourself how I've really cooperated for months, and provided connect-the-dots for those dummies that know three, maybe four letters of the alphabet, I'll tell you this while you're munching on your hot dogs:

I'm you. That's right. I'm the politician you elected, the CEO that you cast your shareholder votes for, the head of the agency that Congress appointed, the chairman of the bank that manages your savings account, and the head of the brokerage firm where you make your securities investments from.

I'm the guy that sells you the car, the pharmacy that fills your prescription, and the shrink that convinces you that the wart on your nose is a beauty mark.

Most important-I'm the guy that made your dreams come true. I gave you confidence, I gave you things to believe in, and I inspired you to be charitable. After all, its not like you could spend all of that wealth I created for you. Maybe Jeff could, maybe Dopamine could, and we know that all of the Sonny's could, but a bunch of you shared the wealth. You helped turn dreams into reality.

But dreams don't last forever. In Disneyland maybe, but no place else. Dreams come to an end, just like bubbles burst. Nothing lasts forever.

Sure, I made a mistake a while back. It was harmless and unintended. The f--king computer program crashed one day and the kid running our IT department had forgotten to get one of those extended support licenses from Microsoft, so, we had to improvise a little bit. The rest is history--and it explains why I became a die-hard fan of Apple. Trust me.

I've said enough for now. And when I get to my new place, I'm thinking that I'll set up one of those video sites so that you can subscribe to weekly broadcasts of me, Midas Madoff.

What? You think I was kidding about giving you a connect-the-dots game?? Just click this. And don't forget to leave a tip. Just scroll the right.

Oh...By the way, in case you don't understand what I've been talking about, I'm thinking you should get yourself a box of popcorn and watch this movie:

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on July 05, 2009 (boomark / email).