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Iowa Inmate Gets to Sing Sweet Caroline

By Steve Lombardi

Even off the shores of New England it's making waves. It's made O'Ryan Johnson from the Boston Globe sound like a Yankee fan. You'd think he was related to Derek Jeter or the steroid guy. What's his name, A-Clod? So what that 'Magistrate Judge Benny Waggoner allowed [Iowa inmate] Randy Barker to be temporarily released from jail so he could attend a baseball game with his dad and brother in Kansas City, Mo., between the hometown Royals and the Boston Red Sox Wednesday night.' That statement from the Des Moines Register's Daniel P. Finney.

Who wouldn't let an inmate out to see a Red Sox game? It isn't like he had scratched his initials into the face of the Green Monster.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4lPegsE3n0

Okay, maybe it's a little wrong. I could see it if they were playing the Yankees, but the Royals? It's hard to imagine all of this happening on the 250^th anniversary of Sir Arthur Guinness' lease signing for St. James Gate in Dublin.

But wait aren't inmates supposed to be undergoing rehabilitation? What if this one had in the past been a Yankee fan? Wouldn't this then be considered part of rehab? Even though I don't practice in the area of criminal law, being a life-long Red Sox fan I can make this argument.

Attorney McLombardi: 'Your Honor, if it may please the Court. Mr. Baker had in the past been a Yankee fan. And in order to confirm his rehabilitation I'm suggesting to the Court he be temporarily released for conversion therapy which will include a Red Sox game against the Royals. To demonstrate to the Court Mr. Barker's commitment to the rehabilitation process his family has agreed to pay for the peanuts, hot dogs and we promise only to allow him to drink warm beer.'

The McCourt: 'Motion granted. Go Sox! Court reporter you can strike that last sentence from the record.'

Attorney McLombardi: 'Thank you your honor. Now can we all sing Sweet Caroline?'

Life is good in Iowa. Now if we only had Autocrat coffee syrup, Dunkin Donuts and Del's Lemonade in prison, I might even consider incarceration sort of like a vacation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScHAY3CmNmU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8igSJxJIJBM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RgCDpqTJYw

Originally posted at InjuryBoard by Steve Lombardi

Full post as published by Des Moines Personal Injury Lawyer on September 24, 2009 (boomark / email).