Estate Planning

Are you Mom's Favourite?

By Hull & Hull LLP

In Estate Litigation we are faced every day with feuding families.  Is the fight avoidable or inevitable?  For those of you with siblings, I'm sure at some point in your lifetime you've gotten upset and yelled those words which for some reason really hit home: "Mom always liked you best".  On some level, favouritism, or the perception of it, is at the heart of Estate Litigation. 

A study released by Cornell University of child favouritism surprisingly discovered that mothers may have distinct preferences amongst their children.  This may not be shocking to some, but I was frankly a little surprised that they admitted it.  It shouldn't come as such a surprise given the feuding I see everyday, and I'm sure some of you are feeling validation right about now for all those years where you thought it, but had no proof.  I can already hear the 'I told you so's'.

On some level this favouritism is rooted in reasonableness.  The study claims that the favourite is generally the child whom the mother feels closest to, who is most similar in attitude and values.  Of note, is that this child is generally a daughter.  Also, it's often the child who has provided the most support in the past.

While the after effect of such favouritism is evident in Estates, the effect of this preferential treatment starts earlier than that.  Often these feelings come to light when attorneyship becomes an issue.  While the rationale for the decision can likely be explained to your children in a manner which could be understood, we tend to hide these feelings and let it come as a surprise.  Maybe we should reconsider that and let our feelings show through, so at the end of the day we can understand our parent's decisions and ask about them before it's too late.

Nadia

Nadia M. Harasymowycz - Click here for more information on Nadia Harasymowycz.

Full post as published by Toronto Estate Law Blog on November 19, 2009 (boomark / email).