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Madoff Affair Becomes A Family Affair

To: Irv Picard, Esq.
From: Rich Zabel, Esq.
Chief of Criminal Division
U.S. Attorney's Office
Southern District of New York
Winner:US Attorney's Award
For Distinguished Service

Dear Irv:

Just a brief to estopp any more of your briefs.

And, in case any one else might be pishing their briefs as a result of my new anointment, they might want to get themselves some ointment.

I'm not going away, and I happen to like my desk alot. And, aside from the award I already have for Distinguished Service, this new badge they gave me is sooo cool!

OK, so it might seem a bit odd to some that I've been elevated to the head of the same US Attorney Criminal Division that's overseeing the Madoff prosecution, while my esteemed Dad has been the long time consigliere to Jeff Picower, one of the most prominent beneficiaries (and perhaps even a "person of interest") in connection with Bernie's scheme.

First-I've both excused and recused myself from the Madoff case. I think you're out of line when it comes to insinuating that I would even contemplate comparing notes with my Dad, or otherwise provide any type of update that might inspire Mr. Picower to re-locate to the same neighborhood as Marc Rich.

New York (and certainly D.C.) is full of high profile people whose families are in the political, financial services, and legal arenas. And, more often than not, parents and their children coincidentally wind up in potentially conflictual situations. We're merely one of those families.

Does anyone really believe that Eliot Spitzer and his Dad shared information with each other that might been a violation of any laws, or even any ethics? Nah! I don't believe those stories at all!

And what about Mukasey's family? Just because Marc is representing Dimes DiPascali doesn't mean that he was hired weeks in advance of Bernie's mea culpa just because of his Dad's connections.

You know what they say, Irv; you can pick your friends, you can pick your clients, and you can even pick their noses, but you can't pick your parents, and when it comes to picking Picower as a friend , a client, or even his nose, what my Dad says, goes. Even if he did back John Edwards.

I'm thinking of adding a bit of rap tune to the above--and my next comment on this topic will take place when I appear on Letterman's show.

Dad--if you're reading this; ixnay with emailnay. And use that alcohol-free hand sanitizer that I sent over. Its the same brand that's down at MCC.

What with all of those swine, you never know what you might be touching these days.

Ricky

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on October 10, 2009 (boomark / email).