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Then I wondered what kind of impression Katie the paralegal was going to make on the viewing public, most of whom make many amusing and mostly incorrect assumptions about the practice of law from television. That's why real trials seem so darn long and boring, compared to weekly television trials that sometimes last less than seven minutes - if you take out the commercials.

I didn't actually watch the premiere episode myself, partly because I was wearing my kid chauffeur hat, and partly because very little on television holds my attention, unless you're constructing a couture ballgown from paper clips and wilted lettuce, or saving the world by murdering other serial killers.

But here's what the viewing public has deduced about Katie the paralegal (and likely paralegals in general) so far:

"Dylan works with a sexy paralegal with secrets of her own!" ~ A.V. Club

"Susan discovers in the series opener that her husband, Cliff (played by Billy Zane), is sleeping with a paralegal." ~ s2smagazine.com

"Dylan (Matt Long), meanwhile, hooks up with a paralegal who is the mistress of the firm's managing partner, Cliff (Billy Zane)." ~ USA Today

"Thus, when we see Dylan strike up a relationship with paralegal Kate (Rachelle Lefevre, formerly of Twilight fame), and later realize she's already entangled with another core character, we don't particularly care." ~ IGN

"Nothing that happens in the pilot remotely resembles the law in action; everything is clearly geared toward life lessons and relationships, with Addy crushing on Liam, Dylan crushing on paralegal Katie (Rachelle Lefevre) whose pre-Raphaelite tresses steal every scene in which she appears..." ~ Los Angeles Times

"There should also be a cute paralegal." ~ SFGate

"The partners sleep with the newbies, the newbies sleep with one another, and the paralegal - she?s at the bottom of the pecking order - sleeps with everybody." ~ The Boston Globe

So far the nicest thing anyone's said about Katie the paralegal is that she has great hair.

Which she totally does.

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