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Law Humor

: Lowering the Bar

Lawsuit Alleges Failure to Warn That Nipple Jumpstart Might Be Dangerous

By Kevin Underhill

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Seriously, people.  Really?

Last March, Kyle Dubois, 18, put an alligator clamp on one of his nipples, with a classmate placing the clamp on his other nipple, while a third classmate plugged the cord into the wall. ... Dubois's parents say [Kyle's teacher, Thomas] Kelley failed to warn the class about the dangers of playing with the electrical cords.

The lawsuit also alleges that Kelley encouraged the boy to administer the shock - which temporarily stopped his heart - by offering him a Mountain Dew.  Kelley denied the Dew allegations, but has since resigned.

Eighteen-year-olds in this country are considered legally competent to vote or join the military, and if they are competent to make those decisions they do not need to be warned about this.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that no one of any age should require a warning about the effect of putting alligator clamps on one's nipples, whether or not they are then to be electrified.  I look forward to having this rule enshrined in American jurisprudence.

Nor am I buying the Mountain-Dew-enticement allegations.  What would that thought process have been? "Sure, running 120 volts through my chest sounds dangerous, but hey -- free Mountain Dew."

Link: New York Daily News

Full post as published by Lowering the Bar on September 01, 2010 (boomark / email).

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