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#Madoff Returns..

OK, so its been almost two f**king weeks since the last time I updated my damn blog.

The truth is (and you can trust me!), I've been working on my memoir and the damn publisher wants it finished and ready to publish before Dec 11.

To all of you shmendricks that keep sending letters with questions for me: I've gotten more than 10,000 in the last few months, and I can only reply to a few; the best chance for you to get a personal reply is to make sure to include $5 for postage and handling.

But, to keep you all entertained, I'll address a few now, at no charge:
1. Picard's Clawyers. I don't have a clue how many lawsuits Irv's people are going to file over the next few weeks. Could be hundreds. Hanukah is coming up and no doubt the people at his firm need to turn up the billing machine. My guess is that before the end of Q4, Baker will be the top billing law firm in the world.

2. Is Jeff Picower really still alive? Sorry, I won't answer that.

3. Yes, I wear pleated boxer shorts. Why the f*ck is that such a big deal to anyone?

4. This weekend's auction. If you wear a size 9, I hope you have yourself a blast. A**hole.

5. Kachroo's Class Action. Contrary to what was reported, this isn't the first suit against the SEC for their failure to regulate in accordance with their mandate. Rots of ruck to those that think they'll prevail. Do you really really think that some court is going to award a monetary judgment against the SEC?!

6. Yes, my wedding anniversary is around the corner, and yes, I do plan on giving Ruth a new Black Card tied to an account in Lugano. See above #2.

7. Do I think Jo Ann, Enrica, or Nan should be forced to return any of the money they made working for me?  Completely f**king ridiculous. Jojo--send Picard a case of donuts, and Nan--make him a batch of meatballs.  Enrica-you should make sure that your book advance is paid into that special account we set up for you.

8. How's the food in Butt Hole? Its better than most of the restaurants that Ruth and I used to go to. Junior (Persico) actually manages the cafeteria here, so, there's no shortage of fresh veal chops, and the ragu is to die for. (Figuratively, thank you!)

9. What do I think about the stock market? As long as everyone keeps saying "it shouldn't be going higher because of this or that reason, it'll keep going higher. When everyone starts talking about the S&P headed back to the old highs, that's when the music will stop. Andy--are you paying attention, for a change?!

10. What do I think about last week's elections results? Washington is going to have a new crop of idiots living there, that's all.

11. Afghanistan. I shared my views with President Obama (courtesy of Chuck Schumer) more than a year ago. My opinion hasn't changed; Vietnam all over again.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on November 12, 2010 (boomark / email).