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Muffies and a request for some advice, but not from Muffies

By kellyfair

Well, trial team is over, and overall I'm glad to get back to my life. Of course my first act was to take a sick cat to the vet and wait to get worked in and charged $250, but we've already established life just doesn't fucking stop, then, haven't we? At any rate, I'm rather discouraged, not really because my team didn't make it to the next round but because of some of the really shitty behavior I saw and in realizing I've got a lot to learn about not letting people get under my skin. Our first round we beat a pretty tough team, then got something called a 'buy' for the next round which I think means you get a technical win but obviously means you don't get to go make your points then faced this team that cheated so badly it truly disgusted me. Knowing that 'outside the record' isn't an objection and that the judges hadn't read the materials, they abused the witnesses - first year students who were giving up their time to help out - and stretched the facts in ways I couldn't believe they could sleep over. It didn't help that the chick on the other side looked like one of those upturned nose, overprivileged, Muffy types who push maids around buy lap dogs that piss everywhere. You know, my antithesis. I was born in a trailer, have worked on a farm, am not sure what all a maid actually does and have a 14 year old, one eyed tabby cat who is missing several teeth. I just can't resist the urge to want to kick the shit out of a Muffy type when she tries to shove me around. Sigh. It's something I've got to work on.

So two things here. One, it's disturbing to me to see so close up how lawyers get the reputation of sleaziness. It was also disturbing to have to spend most of my energy trying to figure out how to work around their crap and thus having a harder time actually scoring points. Don't get me wrong. We had them on the ropes and called them on their crap a few times, and it was totally sweet. But the other, and really more important thing: as my coach said, I need to learn how to not kick people when I get them down, which to be honest, I really really want to do. I figure if you are going to do something, do it all the way, but apparently that isn't proper. And I need to not let people piss me off so much and to let them dig their own holes. For instance, I just had to add "we would not object to opposing counsel refreshing the witness' memory with something that is ACTUALLY ON THE DEPOSITION" to point out some cheating and one of the judges totally missed my point and told me not to tell the opposing side how to cure their mistakes. It looks like by this time in life I'd learn that when I try to fuck someone else up I only fuck up myself, and to let people fuck themselves up when they try to fuck me up instead of fucking up and getting involved. Does that make any sense? Well it shouldn't! When I'm right, I'm right, dammit! Right? Um.... or not so right after all?

Anyway, I've got some things to learn. I can swing with the best of them but you know, that isn't the whole game. Anyway, I'd sure like a note or two from some practicing lawyers out there, since a recent comment has assured me that not every lawyer, in fact, works 100 hours a week (thank you, whoever you are!) so maybe one of you have time. Oh, and Muffy, if you're reading this, I hope your little dog pees on you.

Full post as published by caligulawyer on February 17, 2007 (boomark / email).