Law Humor

Scott Rothstein: Why Morocco?

Posted on February 23, 2010
Last week I related The Tale of Scott Rothstein and His Golden Toilets, and mentioned among other things that Rothstein had "fled to Morocco" along with 16 million of his closest friends when it looked like the proverbial jig was...

Scott Rothstein: Why Come Back From Morocco?

Posted on February 23, 2010
Back to the Scott Rothstein story. Last time, we discussed why Rothstein fled to Morocco specifically. I guess ultimately the answer depends on whether you believe it was a coincidence that not long before the fleeing started, he assigned somebody...

Sheriff's Henchmen Finally Apprehend Robin Hood

Posted on February 22, 2010
Robin J. Hood was arrested for thievery in January, after stealing three caps from a local merchant. This event seems to have received surprisingly little attention, given that according to my Wikipedia research, various authorities have been pursuing a "Robin...

Wanna Buy a Watch? Asks Man With Golden Toilet

Posted on February 19, 2010
It seems like only yesterday that many thousands of people were being scammed by Ponzi schemers with elaborate stories and fake investment schemes. I guess that's because it was yesterday, and every other day, except now it is mostly done...

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Postman Claims Mail-Slot-Induced Finger Injury Threatened Professional Darts Career

Posted on February 18, 2010
The letter-box flap snapped shut on his right hand, said English postman Dennis Coleman, and he thereby suffered a cut to his middle finger that was "deep and pouring with blood." Worst of all, Coleman said, that was his throwing...

Camera Catches Moment That Robber Realized Robbery Not Going as Planned

Posted on February 17, 2010
Clifton Taylor's final mistake, at least his last one as a free man, was to choose to represent himself. But as the article in the Kansas City Star put it, "[H]is judgment had been suspect before." In March 2009, Taylor...

The February Bar Exam Approaches!

Posted on February 15, 2010
For some reason I'm thinking about zombies today (tip: do not play super-realistic zombie video game just before bed if hoping to avoid bizarre zombie-related dreams) and so when I wrote the title above I immediately thought of zombies. The...

Feng Shui Master v. Little Sweetie

Posted on February 12, 2010
On February 2, a judge in Hong Kong denied Tony Chan's claim to the estate of Nina Wang, a real estate tycoon who was estimated to be worth more than four billion dollars. Wang died in 2007, and Chan claimed...

Elderly Germans Kidnap Their Financial Adviser and For Some Reason Are Charged With a Crime

Posted on February 12, 2010
The Reuters report starts out like this: BERLIN (Reuters) ? Four elderly Germans went on trial on Monday charged with kidnapping their financial adviser and holding him prisoner in a basement in an attempt to recover 2.5 million euros (2.19...

"Baby Einstein" Will Not Make Your Baby Einstein, Lawsuit Claims

Posted on February 10, 2010
A complaint filed in Orange County, California, on January 22 alleges that the makers of "Baby Einstein" videos and the Walt Disney Company (which bought the original company) falsely claimed that the "Baby Einstein" videos were educational products that would...

Common Sense Should Have Prevailed, Say Cops Who Arrested 12-Year-Old Doodler

Posted on February 09, 2010
Based on what we've seen so far," said Queens Education Department spokesman David Cantor, "this shouldn't have happened." He seemed to be leaving open the possibility that, when all the facts were in, he might take the position that leading...

Please Fill Out This Form If Planning to Overthrow the Government. Thank You.

Posted on February 09, 2010
Oh, paranoid Americans obsessively concerned with security issues. . . . Will your font of genius-level freedom-raping ideas ever run dry? In South Carolina, anyone engaged in "subversive activities" must now register with the Secretary of State. Failure to comply...

Men at Work Didn't Do All Their Own Work, Judge Rules

Posted on February 07, 2010
An Australian judge has ruled that the group Men at Work plagiarized the flute riff in the song "Down Under" from a children's song written in 1932. The ruling means that the Men will have to pay royalties, although the...

Demon Sheep Still Focus of California GOP Primary

Posted on February 05, 2010
Faced with what is shaping up to be a marketing disaster of legendary proportions, the Fiorina campaign is furiously spinning the Demon Sheep ad as something that was deliberately planned to attract as much attention as possible. It has certainly...

Rat Planter Pleads No Contest to Extortion Charges

Posted on February 05, 2010
Debbie Miller pleaded no contest on Tuesday to charges stemming from a failed attempt to extort money from a Wisconsin restaurant by planting a dead rat in her lunch. The report did not say what kind of lunch Miller had,...

Campaign Ads That May Never Be Topped, Although I Hope People Continue to Try

Posted on February 04, 2010
The Huffington Post (among others) has been reporting lately on the fact that the off-year election season is in full swing and it appears that it will be perhaps the most ridiculous one yet. I know that's saying a lot....

Three Items Added to Bank-Robbery Checklist

Posted on February 04, 2010
Bruce Carton at Legal Blog Watch has added three items to his growing checklist for bank robbers, which seems like an extremely handy reference that I bet bank robbers don't even thank him for. With the new additions, it appears...

Censure for Judge Who Ordered Attorney Be Paid In Gift Cards, Like Class Members

Posted on February 03, 2010
Last year, Los Angeles County Judge Brett Klein was presented with a proposed class-action settlement in which the plaintiffs' attorney would get $125,000, but class members would get only a $10 gift card, usable only at the store that allegedly...

Still Unable to Shut Up, Pants Judge Roy Pearson Is Back in Court

Posted on January 29, 2010
Now with ample time on his hands, having not been reappointed to another term as a D.C. administrative-law judge, Roy L. Pearson, Jr., continues on his quest for justice. As you may recall, that quest began years ago when, according...

Sinking Pedal Boat Ends Ridiculous Escape Attempt

Posted on January 28, 2010
Palm Harbor, Florida. Nicholas Hammond gets up to use the bathroom and finds someone burglarizing his home. Burglar flees, with Hammond in pursuit. Burglar leaps on getaway bike he has hidden a block away, but is unable to pedal fast...

Jell-O Shots Are "Alcoholic Beverages," Judge Rules

Posted on January 27, 2010
A valiant legal effort came to nothing this week after an administrative-law judge in Iowa ruled that a "Jell-O shot" containing vodka does indeed qualify as an "alcoholic beverage" and so cannot be legally sold to minors. Owners of the...

Trial Continued Due to Outbreak of Saintsmania

Posted on January 27, 2010
From today's ruling in Becnel v. Northrup Grumman Ship Systems, a case pending in Orleans Parish, Louisiana: Considering the historic victory of the New Orleans Saints, the Court finds that the trial will not be able to proceed as originally...

Complaint in Ruined-Prada-Suit Case

Posted on January 25, 2010
Here's the complaint in Berland v. Peninou French Laundry, the previously mentioned lawsuit seeking compensation for ruined Prada attire. The facts alleged are as simple as they are disturbing: 7. On or about October 1, 2009, Plaintiff delivered to Defendants,...

Lawsuit Seeks Damages for Ruined Prada Suit, Matching Accessories

Posted on January 25, 2010
Filed on Friday in San Francisco, this new lawsuit is definitely one to watch: Ann Gail Berland v. Peninou French Laundry & Cleaners Inc., CGC-10-496203 (S.F. Superior Court, filed Jan. 22, 2010). Complaint for negligence and breach of contract. The....

Complaint in "Pull My Finger" Dispute Added to Archive

Posted on January 24, 2010
This dispute took place last year, but it seems like the complaint should be added to the archive as a public service. Another intellectual-property dispute between two makers of iPhone flatulence-simulation apps does not seem at all unlikely (as of....

John Edwards Manages to Get Less Popular

Posted on January 22, 2010
Apparently unhappy with his 15 percent approval rating in a recent poll I mentioned just the other day -- the lowest that polling firm had ever recorded -- former senator and candidate John Edwards dashed out on Thursday to make...

Ape in Court

Posted on January 22, 2010
Seems like there is always some humor in store anytime an animal shows up in court. I guess there was that one time it didn't go so well: Even then, though, the chimpanzees were kind of funny. (It's those friggin...

Ohio County Pays for Bat Attack

Posted on January 21, 2010
Those of you who live in Ohio and have recently been attacked by a rabid animal, please be aware that you only have four months to ask for compensation under state law. (File now - you can thank me later.)...

Seriously Funny Lawyer Ads?

Posted on January 21, 2010
I have not devoted nearly enough space here (yet) to the phenomenon of horrifyingly bad lawyer advertising of the kind that you tend to see during "Judge Judy" or on very-late-night TV. While lawyer advertising in general is not especially...

Polling Firm Says John Edwards Is Its Most Unpopular Person Ever

Posted on January 20, 2010
According to its website, the Public Policy Polling firm got its start in 2001, so it's only been polling for nine years. Given the low numbers for politicians generally, though, it still seems like a pretty remarkable achievement to be...

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