Law Humor

Client 9's Playmate Sues Over "Girls Gone Wild" Video

Posted on April 30, 2008
Ashley Alexandra Dupre, well into her 14th minute of fame due to her affiliation with Eliot Spitzer, has sued "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis for allegedly taking advantage of her youth and vulnerability by once filming her sans T-shirt....

"The Secret": Your Path to Happiness, Love, Litigation

Posted on April 28, 2008
Some of you may be familiar with "The Secret," an enormous bestseller that encourages people to follow the "law of attraction," which I thought was something that made people hang out near playgrounds but which turns out to be "an...

European Union Passes Volume Limits for Bagpipes

Posted on April 27, 2008
Bagpipers across Europe are protesting new regulations that would force them to pipe quietly. European Union officials in Brussels have ruled that, under EU health and safety laws, bagpipes cannot expose users to average noise levels of more than 85....

Benny the Bull In Trouble Again

Posted on April 24, 2008
An Illinois dentist has sued the Chicago Bulls after allegedly being injured by the team's mascot, Benny the Bull, in what is a rare example of a lawsuit predicated on a negligent high-five. Don Kalant alleges he was watching a...

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Charges Dropped in "Weekend at Bernie's" Case

Posted on April 22, 2008
New York prosecutors dropped charges today against two men who had been charged with a number of offenses resulting from an attempt to cash a Social Security check in January. The problem, as you may recall, was the body they...

Hair Salon's Reign of Terror Finally Ended

Posted on April 21, 2008
The Baolou International Beauty Salon in the city of Zhengzhou, China, has finally been closed by authorities. The salon had apparently been terrorizing local residents, who cited a number of incidents in which unsuspecting hair-growers had been vastly overcharged for...

Obama's Campaign Font Said to Offer Hope, Geometric Simplicity

Posted on April 18, 2008
For those of you wondering about the secret of Barack Obama's success, that mystery has been solved-- it's the font: Steven Heller: As a branding expert, can you tell me what it is about the typographical scheme of Senator Obama's...

UPDATE: "Bulletproof" Reposa Gets 90 Days for Lewd Gesture

Posted on April 17, 2008
Justice was swift -- and pretty harsh -- for Adam "Bulletproof" Reposa, who was cited for contempt on March 11 after gesturing inappropriately in response to an argument by opposing counsel. Reposa allegedly rolled his eyes and made a repetitive...

Idaho Official: Democratic Primary Will Be Three-Way Contest; Also Pointless

Posted on April 17, 2008
Idaho Secretary of State Ben Ysursa said on April 16 that the state's Democratic primary, set for May 27, will be a three-person race. In addition to better-known candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, Keith Judd has also qualified to...

Woman Sues for Injuries Caused by Large Dancing Mystery Man

Posted on April 16, 2008
A woman in Vero Beach, Florida, has sued a Palm Beach nightspot claiming that she was injured by a 300-pound Canadian who fell on her there. Kathryn Muth accuses Cucina Dell'Arte of negligence on the grounds that the restaurant is...

Dwarf Becomes New Italian Prime Minister

Posted on April 15, 2008
Silvio Berlusconi won another term as Italy's prime minister on April 14, despite being shorter than his rivals. Berlusconi, who is just five feet six inches tall, or a mere 1.71 meters in metric units, is routinely portrayed in political...

Rooster Executed

Posted on April 14, 2008
At a bend in the road near Joe's Creek, birds sing and dogs bark. But the rooster no longer crows. So begins this tale of tragedy, as reported in the St. Petersburg Times. According to the report, Gilman the Rooster...

"Bulletproof" Attorney Jailed After "Obscene Gesture" in Court

Posted on April 11, 2008
Okay, if you had to vote right now, would you vote to sanction this guy? "For what?" -- does it matter? Okay, what if I told you he is an attorney -- wait, I'm not finished -- who is actually...

UPDATE: Transcript of Witchcraft Resolution Hearings Posted

Posted on April 10, 2008
Here's a followup to last week's post on the witch-exoneration resolution that was not passed again this year by the Connecticut legislature. Testimony on that resolution was heard on March 20, and the transcript has just been posted. The committee...

Charges Filed After Parents Argue Over Baby's Gang Affiliation

Posted on April 10, 2008
The Denver Post reported today that the father of a 4-year-old boy pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct on Tuesday, after a heated argument with his ex-girlfriend during which he knocked displays over in the store where she works. The two...

Arguments Commence in New Zealand Spear-Assault Trial

Posted on April 09, 2008
Let's stick with New Zealand, as long as it is going to keep generating stories like these. Last week: false claim of wombat rape. Monday: assault with a deadly hedgehog. Tuesday: opening arguments in the trial, on assault charges, of...

UPDATE: Fired Butt Artist Settles Wrongful-Termination Lawsuit

Posted on April 09, 2008
I have just learned that, last month, the parties reached a settlement in Stan Murmer's wrongful-termination lawsuit against his former employer. As you may recall from prior reports on his firing and on the denial of the school district's motion...

Man Faces Five Years for Hedgehog Assault

Posted on April 08, 2008
In the second animal-assault story from New Zealand in two weeks, police in the North Island town of Whakatane said that William Singalargh, 27, had been arrested for assaulting a boy with a hedgehog. Many details about the assault remain...

Revenge of The Prop Guy

Posted on April 07, 2008
Battle will be joined tomorrow in a British case in which a rebel prop designer will challenge George Lucas, emperor of the Star Wars universe, as to who owns the rights to the stormtrooper costumes used in the films. Andrew...

Youth Rights Under Siege in Midwest

Posted on April 07, 2008
In addition to the continuing War on Low Pants, about which I will report again in the near future, other recent legislative developments in the Midwest are threatening the rights of young people. In Arkansas, the right of toddlers to...

Witches Screwed Again in Connecticut

Posted on April 04, 2008
In other civil-rights news, Connecticut's General Assembly failed again this year to pass a resolution that would have cleared the names of those prosecuted for witchcraft there during the 17th century. This marks the 361st year in a row that...

Poll: What's the Scariest Part of the Torture Memo?

Posted on April 04, 2008
There has been a lot of buzz over the last couple of days about the newly released memo written in 2003 to provide legal arguments in support of using torture aggressive interrogation techniques. And there is probably more to come....

Man Jailed for Curiosity About Groin-Kicking

Posted on April 03, 2008
Last week, 28-year-old Jarrett Loft, of Guelph, Ontario, Canada, was sentenced to sixty days in jail simply for asking seven different women to kick him in the groin. Isn't that pretty far down the list of things that need to...

Florida Attorney Sanctioned for Insulting Court with "Children's Picture Book"

Posted on April 02, 2008
On Friday, March 7, Bonnie Goldstein of Slate.com wrote about a furious battle going on between a Florida attorney on one side and the Florida Bar and Florida Supreme Court on the other. Any bets on how this one comes...

Wombat-Rape Story NOT An April Fools' Day Item

Posted on April 01, 2008
I guess it is understandable that some readers believe that the previous post, about a New Zealander who was sentenced to community service for falsely reporting he had been raped by a wombat, an assault that he said caused him...

Australian Sentenced for False Claim of Wombat Rape

Posted on April 01, 2008
Arthur Cradock of Motueka, New Zealand, was sentenced last week to 75 hours of community service for making a false police report, after he admitted he had not actually been raped by a wombat as he had claimed. Cradock called...

Russian Farmer Sues Space Agency for Rocket Damage

Posted on March 31, 2008
Tired of having rocket parts rain down on his village, a Russian shepherd is suing Roskosmos, the Russian space agency, for one million rubles after a 10-foot piece of space trash hit his property, narrowly missing his outhouse. Boris Urmatov...

Canadian Dollar, Lawsuit Activity Up

Posted on March 28, 2008
Now that Canadians have a currency that can actually compete with the U.S. dollar, it looks like they may be trying to catch up to us in unnecessary lawsuits as well. Last week, the National Post of Canada reported on...

Court of Appeal Upholds Right to Private Drunkenness

Posted on March 27, 2008
In a recent case, the California Court of Appeal definitively resolved a legal question that has long puzzled scholars: If a man is drunk inside a woodshed, and leaves the woodshed only at the request of police, can he be...

San Francisco Superior Court Is Victim of Hit-and-Run

Posted on March 26, 2008
Legal Pad reported yesterday that officials at SF Superior Court are trying to figure out who has to pay for damage to the courthouse apparently caused by a hit-and-run driver earlier this month. Trust me, there is no point in...

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