Miscellaneous

OMG! If Obama's Stimulus Package Doesn't Pass, We're All Going to Lose Our Jobs. Twice!

Posted on February 04, 2009
Well, at least according to Nancy Pelosi, who believes that, without the package, "500 million" of us will lose our jobs. That's more than twice the working population of America. We're deep sh*t, folks....

The Great Escape ... Not so Great

Posted on February 04, 2009
Here's what happens when two men attempt to escape police, while handcuffed to one another. Hey! Watch out for that pole ... Doh! Jumping Jellybeans, that's embarassing. (H/T JP)...

Rod Blagojevich on The Late Show

Posted on February 04, 2009
Here's just the first part (if you want the other parts, check YouTube). And Letterman mocks the living hell out of the guy. God bless Dave: He's not timid....

Ricky Gervais almost has it right

Posted on February 04, 2009
Over on his blog, funnyman Ricky Gervais has posted a proposal to Barack Obama via an open letter. It's funny, as you will read, but it's not quite the right plan. Dear Mr President, Firstly, congratulations on your historic win....

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Taxachusetts Set to Become Douchiest State in the Union

Posted on February 03, 2009
Oh, sure: Gays can get married in Massachusetts, but if the Bay State has its way, they won't be able to avoid state sales tax by registering for wedding gifts in New Hampshire: Massachusetts has ordered a tire chain to...

Introducing Our Newest Caped Crusader: Sleepy Man

Posted on February 03, 2009
Hey: In these tough economic times, it's not always affordable to go out and buy an actual cape. Sometimes, we just have to make do. Authorities said a man wearing a sleeping bag as a cape and carrying a screwdriver...

Manhattan Cops Bamboozle the Gays

Posted on February 02, 2009
This little scheme the cops are pulling on gay men in Manhattan is downright ridiculous: Anger is building against the police department in the wake of an increase in arrests of gay men for prostitution at Manhattan adult video stores....

A Few Super Bowl Watchers Got More Than They'd Anticipated

Posted on February 02, 2009
What's better than the Super Bowl? How about a little porn? That's what a few Arizona watchers got during last night's telecast. It might've been OK had it occurred during the otherwise dull first quarter, but it cut in during...

The Best Praaaaaaank Ever?

Posted on January 30, 2009
Take that, MIT and Cal Tech. You've just been outpranked: Someone reprogrammed two city construction road signs near the University of Texas early Monday morning in an attempt to warn Austin of an imminent zombie attack. Messages that typically...

Woman Rapes Man How?

Posted on January 30, 2009
You don't read too often about women sexually assaulting men, but this one -- compliments of The Smoking Gun -- is weird, not just for the act, but for the ... method: Meet Janice McCarl. The Colorado woman, 53, was...

Oranges Are Apparently More Dangerous than I Thought

Posted on January 29, 2009
The next time the terrorists want to attack the United States, they might want to trade in their dirty bombs for a few oranges. Deadly stuff, you know: Two Marion County boys are facing felony charges after reportedly throwing oranges...

This Is Why I Don't Send Food Back

Posted on January 29, 2009
I don't care how bad it is, or how screwed up an order, I'll almost always accept what is given me at a restaurant and shut the hell up, knowing that sending something back or complaining is never going to...

Monkeys Aren't the Only Ones That Can Fling Crap

Posted on January 29, 2009
What's the easiest way to get yourself a mistrial? Smear shit on your attorney and then fling it at the jury. Yeah. Literally. A San Diego judge has declared a mistrial in a kidnapping and assault case after the defendant...

Because the 190th Time is the Charm

Posted on January 28, 2009
How do you stay out of jail long enough to even be arrested 190 times? Police say a 46-year-old man was arrested for the 190th time in Florida last week. Authorities arrested Henry Farrell after he tried to carjack a...

Cause this is lawsuit, lawsuit night!

Posted on January 28, 2009
Michael Jackson is being sued and this time it has nothing to do with kid piddling. Rather, director John Landis is tweaked that, for the last four years, Jackson hasn't bothered to pony up any of the royalties for their...

Where Is that Fourth Amendment? I Know I Had it Around Here Somewhere.

Posted on January 28, 2009
The Supreme Court, now apparently firmly titled to the conservative side when it comes to Fourth Amendment matters, has struck another blow against our constitution protections. The Court today ruled that passengers pulled over for a routine traffic stop can...

Kind of Funny or Kind of Offensive?

Posted on January 28, 2009
I don't know. The ladies over on Jezebel are up-in-arms over a tacky joke that former president, George H.W. Bush, told at an automobile dealer's convention (which Bill Clinton also attended). I dunno -- it's equal parts amusing and...

Rocky raccoon pulls a Bobbit

Posted on January 28, 2009
Who in the hell gets turned on by a raccoon? And if you are actually sick enough to try and rape one, you'd think you'd want to take some safety precautions. Teeth wise. So it won't, oh I don't know,...

Barack Obama Wins One for Common Sense

Posted on January 27, 2009
How about that. Just hours after we criticized the contraception funding the Democrats are trying to squeeze into the new stimulus, Barack Messiah Obama, laid down a little common sense and asked the Dems to pull it. House Democrats are...

Who's a classy broad?

Posted on January 27, 2009
Look no further, the answer's right here! (Courtesy of The Smoking Gun, of course)...

Contraception Will Save the Economy!

Posted on January 26, 2009
So, I'm sure you're all very aware that President Obama is trying to get a $825 billion stimulus plan enacted by Valentine's Day, with the hope -- ultimately -- of creating 3 million new jobs and saving the world. I...

The Least Funny Stupid Criminal of All Time

Posted on January 26, 2009
This just pisses me off, and I simply can't imagine the inhumanity, the fucked-up, sick shit going through this dude's head. Clearly, he is mentally unstable. And though I'm no proponent of the death penalty, this guy deserves nothing less...

F' this guy!

Posted on January 26, 2009
There's this fucker down in South Carolina, Robert Ford, who's a state senator. And this sumbitch cocksucker has a bill ready for filing which would ban lewd language, to the tune of up to five fucking years in the clink...

A Monday Morning Puzzle

Posted on January 26, 2009
As I'm writing this entry on Sunday night, I'm watching the documentary Wordplay, about crossword puzzles. With apologies to Will Shortz for using a rather rudimentary puzzle form, let's play fill-in-the-blank with this story about Elbert Duffy (the man with...

Would They Have Done the Same If He Were Wearing an American Flag Shirt?

Posted on January 23, 2009
So, this dude who works at a Sam's in Florida (oh, brother) got reprimanded for wearing a T-shirt with Obama's face on it. A Jacksonville man who chose to show his support for the new president by wearing a shirt...

Barack and Michelle: Ouch.

Posted on January 23, 2009
Pay close attention to what this nice, lilly-white woman has to say about Barack and Michelle's love for each other. Ummm. Methinks she might want to check the Urban Dictionary before she speaks to television audiences. (Big H/T Deus...

Florida + Ninja = Awesome!

Posted on January 23, 2009
That headline came from reader Sean with a link to this story. Does it live up to his hype? A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County. The Palm Beach...

"Scathing Review of Bitchy Hookers?"

Posted on January 23, 2009
In Ohio, Robert McFadden has been arrested for a website he runs. Seems that McFadden's site allowed folks to post review of hookers. The cops say that McFadden traded information about street walkers and online escorts, including a 17-year-old girl,...

Now this is a mustache ride I'd take!

Posted on January 22, 2009
Dustin recently put together a list of the best and worst mustaches in Hollywood. Too bad this criminal ain't in Hollywood, because he can teach Magnum a thing or two about how a real man busts the 'stache. (Hat tip...

I showed up and puncshed my time card, sho what else didja wantshfromme?

Posted on January 22, 2009
Peru's version of the Supremes sees nothing wrong with folks coming to work a little drunk, ruling that being on the job sloshed isn't a reason for being fired! One of the justices said the firing was not warranted because,...

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