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Post Frequency: 15.3/day

Last Entry: April 01, 2011 at 15:17:00

Hey -- Anything Happening in the SD FL Tea Party Case?

Posted on August 05, 2010
Tea Party Withdrawal Motion Funny you should ask!First, the plaintiffs filed an emergency motion seeking to file a motion under seal because the motion allegedly contained defamatory statements made by defendants about plaintiffs and they did not want these allegedly false statements further disseminated...

Love Me Like A Man!

Posted on August 05, 2010
I just spent the last four hours reading confirmed bachelor Felix Unger's -- I mean Chief Judge Vaughn Walker's -- 136-page ruling regarding Proposition 8, and all I can say is I had no idea gay sex could be that boring!I did find this part of the ruling interesting: Same-sex couples are identical to opposite-sex couples in the characteristics relevant to the ability to form successful marital unions...

Dumb is the New Stupid.

Posted on August 04, 2010
I'm staggered by the monumental, breathtaking stupidity of this:Nativism in American politics has become so rampant that it is considered scandalous in Republican circles for a judge to acknowledge paying any attention to foreign courts and their legal rulings...

3d DCA Watch -- Making a List and Checking It Twice Edition.

Posted on August 04, 2010
"Gonna find out who's naughty and nice....."Anyway, in this week's very special episode of 3d DCA Watch, the Resplendent Ones may have in fact started such a list......Read on, childrens:Chin v. Chiaffa:Let's see, what are some of the opening and closing argument no-nos we always hear about?Golden Rule, that one I remember...

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The Case of the Toe-Tapping Lawyer!

Posted on August 04, 2010
I used to really love this case, but now it's starting to acquire the feel of a wrinkled old hot dog that someone left on the roller for three days and whose only remaining purpose is to give you botulism.In our latest wacky installment, lawyers accuse other lawyers of using the ancient method of "toe-tapping" to allegedly signal to a witness how to respond during a deposition, there are "enhanced features" such as embedded camera phone pics (plus there's even a Rose Mary Woods reference for us old-school Nixon chronics!)...

Even A Dog Can Shake Hands.....

Posted on August 03, 2010
Even a dog catcher has a license, and even a paralegal should be licensed too(?), according to the intrepid Julie Kay:?I do believe eventually The Florida Bar is going to require mandatory certification, which it should,? said Linda Cruz, a paralegal with Miami-based Pardo & Gainsburg and vice chair of the Dade County Bar?s paralegal committee...

Judge Huck Sends Madoff/Banco Santander Claims to.....Ireland?

Posted on August 02, 2010
huckirishspring In a significant forum non ruling involving a multi-national cast of characters all swirling around Bernie Madoff, Judge Huck has sent the Madoff/Banco Santander litigation off to the Emerald Isle with a traditional (if somewhat off color) Irish toast:Here's to our wives and girlfriends: May they never meet! Oh no, that's definitely not it!Let me try again: Here's to a long life and a merry one...

Parsing the Perdomo "Hot Nicaraguan" Lawsuit.

Posted on August 02, 2010
I like a good cigar every once in a while.Not in a pretentious, ostentatious "full Rothstein" manner, but I do appreciate the heft, body, and aroma of a well-made stogie.Speaking of well-made stogies, did anyone see this report about a suit filed by Miami Lakes vice mayor Nick Perdomo against a local town critic: Miami Lakes Vice Mayor Nick Perdomo is suing a Miami-Dade resident after she said public comments he made were in poor taste...

SFL Friday -- Rick Scott Can Spend As Much As He Wants!

Posted on July 30, 2010
Well I'm off to find some cool, cleansing waters to windsurf, but before I go I wanted to mention this dispiriting report on the EPIC FAIL of getting Obama's judicial nominees on the bench:Judicial confirmations slowed to a trickle on the day President Barack Obama took office...

Friday Morning Digital Dump

Posted on July 30, 2010
Let's see, what do people want to talk about this morning?Ervin makes a pitch for bringing the Gulf Oil Disaster to Miami:Ervin A. Gonzales, a Florida lawyer, argued that ?clearly, Louisiana is the most affected state, but there may be appearances of conflict? for judges and jurors...

The Allegedly Integrated Modern Law Practice?

Posted on July 29, 2010
Stern Lawsuit Take a gander at this securities lawsuit recently filed against David J. Stern and pending before Judge Zloch that allegedly unpeels the layers behind his large and intricate mortgage foreclosure business.I like this part of a speech purportedly given at a stock conference:No matter what Obama rolls out, there is no stopping this inflow of continued defaults that we anticipate to go for another two or three years late behind that is the math of REO?s that need to be liquidated and at the end of the day, the cycle will start again...

11th Circuit CAFA Ruling Already Creating Ripple Effects.

Posted on July 29, 2010
Absence of Jurisdiction Judge Tjoflat's CAFA jurisdictional ruling is having the expected effects below: a rush of motions seeking to have cases dismissed for lack of subject matter jurisdiction...

3d DCA Watch -- Sword-Wielders and Chutzpah Edition.

Posted on July 28, 2010
Blah blah blah Resplendently Robed Ones blah blah blah coffee-swillers blah blah blah hermetically sealed bunker blah blah blah a very special chutzpah and sword-wielding 3d DCA Watch:Aulet v. Castro:Judge Rothenberg provides a clinical definition of "chutzpah":In describing the former wife?s behavior, the term ?chutzpah? comes to mind...

The Paminator.

Posted on July 28, 2010
I actually think it's a good nickname: In the e-mail, Howard suggested that Bondi hire the firm if she wins the race. ``Told me at church today she will use us for consumer protection if she wins,'' Howard wrote on Nov. 22, 2009. ``She plans to announce this week I think, but u would know more than me as usual...

Judge Seitz Did Not Abuse Her Discretion.

Posted on July 27, 2010
I thought it was pretty funny that the Herald misidentified a photo of Judge Seitz in an otherwise very flattering profile on Monday.Note to Herald: Try to get these things right the first time.In related Judge Seitz news, the 11th affirmed her today in a significant decision involving the Alien Tort Statute in a tragic case brought against the Palestinian Authority and the PLO...

A Ticket Attorney, A Furniture Attorney, And A Traffic Hearing Examiner Go Into A Bar......

Posted on July 27, 2010
And one of them comes out a Palm Beach circuit court judge: Lemoine fired the first salvo by touting records that show he has handled 684 cases in Palm Beach County courts, compared to Daire's 143, Small's 118 and Goodman's 18. The records, he says, prove who has the needed experience...

Happy Birthday, ADA!!

Posted on July 26, 2010
Boy it's a bit of a slow news day, huh?Where are all my loyal tipsters?Perusing the CM/ECF reports, it's obvious that a significant amount of judicial time in our district is devoted to ADA cases, so let's give the statute some props on the 20th anniversary of its signing...

Rhetoric Taken......To New Heights!

Posted on July 26, 2010
New Heights Order Good....morning!I had every intention to start the week with something mild and noncontroversial, such as creating a basic Lew Freeman letter generator.But then that danged case keeps dragging me back in:The Court finds it quite remarkable, and quite indicative of the merits (or lack thereof) of plaintiffs allegations in this regard, that despite the fact that plaintiffs have filed some 36 motions for enlargement of time, none was filed for responding to the Order to Show Cause ...

Kiss My Rooker-Feldman!

Posted on July 23, 2010
I once tried to pull a Rooker-Feldman.In my defense it was way back in college, I got talked into it, and I promised my girlfriend I would never do it again.But I guess some people never learn:The Rooker-Feldman doctrine is inapplicable here. In place of it, ordinary preclusion rules govern the effect of the Engle Phase I approved findings...

SFL Friday -- My Bonnie Better Lie Way the Hail Over the Ocean

Posted on July 23, 2010
Like that freaky old gypsy in Drag Me to Hell, Cavs owner Dan Gilbert has apparently cursed all of South Florida with a form of revenge known as "Tropical Storm Bonnie."Thanks for being such a d$%k, Dan.So get with your loved one (or ones), hunker down, start serving libations early and roll with the weekend -- but make sure to buy lots of batteries first...

Caveat Emptor And Other Foreign Words.

Posted on July 22, 2010
I'm taking the entire afternoon off to engage in what I believe the cavemen referred to as "windsurf-rock," so enjoy this guest post by a close friend. SFLGreetings readers, friends and concubines. SFL is enjoying some much deserved R&R, so he "sent me along as a surrogate band," and I'm going to play the fiddle and tap dance for you until he's done digesting all that whimsical sunshine...

3d DCA Watch -- Do You Feel Lucky, Punk?

Posted on July 21, 2010
Hi kids!It might be hot and balmy outside, but inside the hermetically sealed bunker the air is crisp, cool and a temperature-controlled 72 degrees (unfortunately, so is the coffee).So let's give a big, warm South Florida welcome to the Resplendent Robed Players?:Florida Farm v...

The 11th Circuit Creates A Removable Feast?

Posted on July 21, 2010
Continuing with our literary theme, today is Ernest Hemingway's birthday!Also, the 11th Circuit really went astray with its latest CAFA ruling:We hold that in a CAFA action originally filed in federal court, at least one of the plaintiffs must allege an amount in controversy that satisfies the current congressional requirement for diversity jurisdiction provided in 28 U...

MAGISTRATE JUDGE BROWN ENTERS SANCTIONS ORDER...IN 'THAT CASE'... AND ALSO MAKES 'LAST STRAW' FINDING...PLUS SONNY AND CHER!

Posted on July 21, 2010
Beat Goes on Order Anyone heard about that Peter Halmos case pending before Magistrate Judge Brown?Wonder what's been happening lately?LET'S TAKE A LOOK:The beat goes on - but rises to new heights.Ok, an intriguing metaphor -- you got me interested...

Your Daily Dose of Michael Napoleone.

Posted on July 20, 2010
Hi kids, sorry I'm a bit late this morning, but it's summer ok?I'm really excited about the new unexpurgated version of Mark Twain's autobiography due to be released shortly.I've already committed to memory Twain's vivid description of an Italian countess which I intend to unleash at the next judicial reception: ?excitable, malicious, malignant, vengeful, unforgiving, selfish, stingy, avaricious, coarse, vulgar, profane, obscene, a furious blusterer on the outside and at heart a coward...

Eggs.

Posted on July 19, 2010
What the hail, it's my blog.

News Flash: Alan Fertel Is A Sports Nut!

Posted on July 19, 2010
I used to see Alan a lot at the gym, and here's a prototypical example of a conversation we would have quite frequently:SFL: Hi Alan.AKF: The Fins will be SLAMMING this year!!SFL: Aah, yep, I sure hope so.AKF: How 'bout the moves [insert player here] made on [insert another player here]??SFL: Pretty impressive...

Gelber vs. Aronberg on BP Resignation

Posted on July 18, 2010
Here's an interesting video that puts together a point-counterpoint from the candidates on Dan Gelber's resignation from Akerman as that firm took on the massive BP Oil Spill defense work.I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- Dan was slightly slow off the dime on this issue, and initially offered some weak tea in defense of his original argument that no conflict exists...

Because I Don't Have a Wooden Heart.

Posted on July 16, 2010
"The Motion for protective order is GRANTED."

SFL Friday -- Mother and Child Reunion.

Posted on July 16, 2010
I see my friend Willy Ferrer is due to be invested today -- thanks for the heads up, David!Also congrats go out to all those old farts -- I mean Legal Legends -- who will be honored in November. Well-deserved all.I'm gonna have to cut short this entry -- I was fully dressed and equipped for a lengthy windsurfing session -- but now I have to go back home and put on a suit for Willy and hurry back downtown...

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