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Last Entry: April 01, 2011 at 15:17:00

Polk Salad Iqbal.

Posted on June 24, 2010
You know how the Herald always runs WP opinion columns two days after they have been published and long after they have been thoroughly discussed and dissected online?Well that happened again with this stupid column by former Bush speechwriter Michael Gerson...

Bill For Document Production: $2+ Million.

Posted on June 24, 2010
Simon Ton Order on Production It's interesting to see that prominent lawyers and judges don't read fine print just like regular folks don't, but I sometimes wonder whether lawyers read rules and statutes anymore either...

"You Get Nothing!"

Posted on June 23, 2010
For those of you still following that GrayRob conflict-of-interest issue, in which they put in for substantial fees even after being removed as receiver, you can see what MD FL Judge Steele thought of that above.(Actually, courtesy of Scribd, the Court's order is here...

3d DCA Watch -- The Continuing Story of BDO Seidman

Posted on June 23, 2010
Well it feels good to be back in the saddle again.Three things I learned from my recent "unplugging":1. Working a matter up for trial is hard.2. There are too many distractions in the day, and it felt clarifying to be able to focus for extended periods of time on a single topic or issue, without answering phone calls, continually looking at emails, or incessantly surfing the tubes for Drew Barrymore updates...

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I Shall Return.

Posted on June 23, 2010
A lot to look forward to, so much has happened, I'm back and fully "plugged in."Thanks to GB for ably manning the helm and to all the commenters who have pitched in, have to deal with a pesky judge this morning and then away we go.......

Padding Your Bra

Posted on June 22, 2010
I never understood falsies, and not just because I am an ass man, mind you.Here is my thinking.1. You have to be comfortable with who you are and what you bring to the, er, table. Everything else flows from that.2. There is nothing more seductive or alluring than self-confidence (as opposed to a false or inflated sense of self)...

Separate But Equal

Posted on June 21, 2010
Flashbacks to law school, right? Brown v. Board of Education?56 years after the Warren Court held that segregation of children in public schools solely on the basis of race, even though the physical facilities and other "tangible" factors may be equal, deprives the minority group children of educational opportunities and thus that separate but equal is inherently unequal, the Israeli High Court cited the opinion in striking down what petitioners said was ethnic segregation...

Who Is That Masked Man?

Posted on June 18, 2010
Bob Josefsberg is a Lion of the Bar. He has received every professional and civic accolade out there, and then some. He has been around a very long time, and done a lot of stuff. For example, has he ever told you about his case where he helped Henry Flagler with a zoning glitch that affected the Royal Palm Hotel, mid construction? And that his bonus was to perform the first dance in the Hotel's Main Ballroom, with Julia Tuttle? Or how he circumcised The Yankee Clipper himself? Or that when The Lizard King took out his wanker at Dinner Key Auditorium, Bob was hired to defend the crooner? (Yeah, yeah: everyone has heard that last one...

Things have been broken. Wrongs have been done. People have been hurt.

Posted on June 18, 2010
Man, that sounds like a big scandal to me, but if anyone can get to the bottom of things and obtain Justice, its Ervin. Speaking of breathy and dramatic, did everyone receive the spam email "Tax Attorney David Garvin Congratulates Helio Castroneves On New Book!"? In his mass email, Tax Attorney David Garvin shared Helio's vivid description from ?Victory Road: The Ride of My Life?, Helio's book that portrays the drama and intensity of Helio's tax trial where Tax Attorney David Garvin watched Roy Black defend Helio (why do I keep calling him Helio? I don't even know the dude...

On the Road With Spencer Aronfeld

Posted on June 17, 2010
The NYT takes a look at the Spencer Aronfeld Gulf Oil Spill traveling road show, with video:Some lawyers are taking a lower-budget approach. For the past month, Spencer Aronfeld, a Miami lawyer, has posted a half-dozen YouTube videos chronicling his travels through the gulf to view the oil?s devastation ? and presumably to sign up a few clients...

3d DCA Watch -- Happy Bloom's Day!

Posted on June 16, 2010
In honor of everyone's favorite randy Jew from Dublin who met lots of people and did lots of things on this very day back in 1904, I have decided to write today's 3d DCA Watch in the style of the first epic, run-on, non-punctuated sentence from Episode 18, Molly Bloom's Soliloquy:Telemundo v...

Chinese Drywall Plaintiffs Testify

Posted on June 16, 2010
So I see that the representative plaintiffs in the Chinese Drywall trial have testified:"We loved being there,'' said Armin Seifart, who works as senior counsel for Chevron. ``It turned into a nightmare.''I have to assume Ervin and Victor know what they are doing, but does it strike anyone else as odd that the test plaintiffs they put up are wealthy professionals who purchased a $1...

Schmaper/Paper -- It's Just A Foreclosure, Your Honor.

Posted on June 15, 2010
I love reading about judges who actually insist that foreclosure attorneys you know, provide the right paperwork and sue on behalf of the right client.But who has time for that?There are just so many homes to repossess:It?s at least the second time in as many months that Circuit Judge J...

Conflict? What Conflict?

Posted on June 15, 2010
Julie Kay breaks the story of Akerman representing BP in the Gulf Oil disaster, a huge piece of business worth many millions of dollars.But there's a little wrinkle:State Sens. Alex Villalobos and Dan Gelber are taking the lead in calling for a special legislative session to ban offshore drilling in Florida waters...

Magistrate Judge Brown Imposes "Audacious" $23k in Sanctions!

Posted on June 14, 2010
Audacious Order Guess which case:The audacity of plaintiffs continue to amaze. Plaintiffs need more time to do that which should have been done ages ago, and blame defendants for their inability to provide information on their damages!Exactly!Unreal!Exclamation points are fun!!!

Where Are My Loyal Tipsters?

Posted on June 14, 2010
I'm really ticked off someone shared braless crusader Brittney Horstman's FDC tale of woe with Miami Herald reporter Jay Weaver instead of yours truly -- didn't any FACDL list-serve lawyer recognize it as perfect material for this blog?Come on people!Actually, the story is beyond stupid -- what is the point of these rules? They strike me as sexist and vague (no "clothing that is tight and sexually suggestive or revealing")...

"I Shot the Scrivener"??

Posted on June 11, 2010
Scriveners Error Ahh the perils of a scrivener's error.Here somebody wasted a bunch of time and money on a summary judgment motion based entirely on a rog where the defendant -- excuse me, the defendant's scrivener -- apparently left out the word "not" when responding...

The Clarifying Power of A Good Deal.

Posted on June 11, 2010
A deal is right.A deal works.A deal clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit:A Monroe County attorney assigned to prosecute Diaz Reus & Targ founder Michael Diaz Jr. in a road-rage incident has dropped all charges against the lawyer...

SFL Friday -- Bicycle Races Are Coming Your Way.

Posted on June 11, 2010
You know, I'm starting to tire of always writing about local lawyers and the law.For one thing, it ain't easy making you guys seem interesting!Take Krupnick Campbell lawyer Robert J. McKee, whose BP litigation roadshow was profiled today in the NYT: Mr...

Judge Carnes Writes 66-Page Jurisdictional Snoozefest!

Posted on June 10, 2010
Ok, I just spent the last hour reading Judge Carne's recent prolix opinion on CAFA jurisdiction and what evidence is properly considered when evaluating jurisdiction on removal.I had the following reaction:Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.I often wonder whether courts should be required to abide by the same page limitations lawyers are stuck with...

Parsing the Rothstein Sentence.

Posted on June 10, 2010
David Brooks, typically a reductionist dodo who sees the world in two shades of binary, actually wrote an insightful column the other day on the virtues of the humanities and their application to the business world.In particular, Brooks noted the power of analogies:Studying the humanities will give you a wealth of analogies...

Dramatic Chinese Drywall Confrontation: When Did You Stop Liking The Smell of Farts?

Posted on June 09, 2010
In a dramatic turnaround, Chinese Drywall defendant Banner Supply's controller Scott Giering recanted his fart-embracing deposition testimony on the stand yesterday: The first witness to take the stand was Banner controller Scott Giering, who had said during a deposition that some people might actually like the smell caused by drywall in some homes -- that of rotten eggs or flatulence...

3d DCA Watch -- The Sad Decline of the Economic Loss Rule.

Posted on June 09, 2010
I've written about this before, but there was a time a few decades ago when all anyone wanted to talk about was the Economic Loss Rule.Could it apply here? Why doesn't it apply here? Let's have a lunch seminar and discuss it!It was everywhere, the "metadata" or pesto wrap flatbread legal trend of its time...

Justin Long Must Die.

Posted on June 08, 2010
It feels a bit slow around here, no?Sure we have the Chinese Drywall trial and Rothstein's sentencing, but you can feel the lawyers and judges starting to slow down, plan their North Carolina or Colorado summer trips, and ease up on the usual nonsense we see day to day...

Not A Good Idea To Irritate A Federal Judge.

Posted on June 08, 2010
judgetorresirritated Let's see if I can boil this down.Summary judgment filed.Plaintiffs say depo must be taken first.Emails about scheduling depos occur from February through April.In the meantime Magistrate Judge Torres files R&R granting motion...

Scott's Parents Confirm: He Was A Nice Jewish Boy.

Posted on June 07, 2010
Roth Stein Parents Letter I don't know about you, but I hope I'm never in a position to have to ask my parents to write a letter to a federal judge I used to appear before, explaining how I was a good boy who like everyone complained about going to Hebrew school as a kid...

SFL Monday -- Feelin' Like An Apeman.

Posted on June 07, 2010
It's a glorious day, so why is the news so bad?So far the only good thing I've come across is this John Pacenti profile of my buddy Willy Ferrer:Politics aside, Ferrer has a rare skill that is much needed in a U.S. attorney: He knows h ow to bridge the gap between two opposing sides, Hogan said...

The Rothstein Letter!

Posted on June 05, 2010
Roth Stein Letter Dear Judge Cohn:So there I was in Morocco, at the runway, and at the last moment I double crossed Renault, forcing him at gunpoint to assist in our escape.Then, suddenly, I make Ilsa board the plane to Lisbon with her husband, telling her she would regret it if she stayed: "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life...

SFL Friday -- Mysteries of Love Edition!

Posted on June 04, 2010
Well it's almost that time, and as I gather my windsurfing essentials my mind lingers on the Gulf Oil disaster.Question -- why is the media fixated on whether you can see oil on the beaches?Given the historic volume of oil released, and the length of time the oil has been gushing, isn't it a reasonable assumption that the Gulf ecosystem will be severely impacted whether or not you can anecdotally spot surface oil off the shoreline?Still, it's good to know we have assembled the right legal team:The co-chairman of the group Gov...

Good Advice, Bad Advice, Ham Sandwich.

Posted on June 04, 2010
I'm a litigator so I enjoy conflict and advocacy and naturally think I'm pretty good at it.But many times the client is better served by being skilled at conflict resolution, rather than aggressive and/or reflexive conflict continuation.That appears to be a lesson learned by Wal-Mart, who really should have heeded Akin Gump's good counsel: More than six years before the biggest sex discrimination lawsuit in history was filed against Wal-Mart Stores, the company hired a prominent law firm to examine its vulnerability to just such a suit...

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