Family Law

What Defines A Man?

By Ben Stevens

Some men were recently discussing what advice fathers should give to their sons in response to the question, "How do I learn to be a man?'  From this discussion arose the words of wisdom below from my friend and fellow blogger, Michael Jeffcoat.  I obtained permission from Michael to publish his answer here, because I believe it will benefit fathers and sons everywhere:

Here is what I think defines a Man: 

• A Man is grounded in a crystal clear sense of morality.
• A Man strives for excellence in his chosen work.
• A Man has invested the time and effort to become good at the things he chooses to do. By doing so, a boy creates for himself what every Man has – confidence.
• A Man understands that he can do almost anything in life, but he cannot do everything.
• A Man is decisive. He makes a decision and he acts.
• A Man decides on what he wants. He knows what he wants.
• A Man is thoughtful, but he does not hesitate. He does not hem and haw.
• A Man is direct and honest, not only with others but especially with himself.
• A Man is never coy.
• A Man does not gossip.
• A Man is not physically intimidated by any other human being on the planet.
• A Man looks you in the eye.
• A Man has a strong handshake.
• A Man stands up straight.
• A Man is comfortable expressing his feelings.
• A Man expresses his anger without violence.
• A Man can admit when he is wrong.
• A Man would never physically harm a woman.
• A Man is resilient.
• A Man pushes past fears. When they come, he will still do what needs to be done. This makes him stronger and stronger.
• A Man knows that he will survive in the end.
• A Man withstands rough times. He knows that today may be cloudy, but the sun will come out eventually.
• A Man has made some stupid mistakes. He learned from them, and chose not to repeat them.
• A Man takes full responsibility for his life. He doesn't wait around for things to get better. He goes out and makes them better.
• A Man welcomes failure and rejection from time to time, because those things will come sometimes when he puts himself out there, and 'goes for it.'
• A Man knows who he is.

Source:  Michael R. Jeffcoat, Esquire of the Truck Accident Lawyer Blog (used with permission)

Full post as published by SC Family Law Blog on November 02, 2009 (boomark / email).