Law Humor

Barbie-
Thanks so much for the nomination!

My buddy Jeff Picower is no doubt turning over in his grave right now thinking that he should have been nominated for Time's Person of the Year Award! Ha!

Next:
Its Friday the 13th, and since I'm not really a superstitious kind of guy, why shouldn't I come back after taking a week off?

OK;
1. Frankie--Since I don't remember much, I certainly don't remember telling you to a hire a mick or a spic to do the programming. You were supposed to make sure to have that Russian kid do this stuff! The one that Sonja had recommended to us!

Then, I told you to give them a $600,000 bonus, and you decided to give them a measly $60,000...I told you that this would come back to haunt you!

Sure, maybe these boys only got caught because some Fed on 17 turned over a donut box on 17 last week and found a sign that said "O'Hara and Perez Were Here." Christ..a year goes by, and they finally figured out who had the keys to the printer cartridge closet.

If I was there right now, the place wouldn't be such a pigsty!

Do you see any of my people, the ones that got the right kind of bonuses, blabbing about anything? No, of course not! This is what you never learned from me, Frankie. You have to pay people properly, or otherwise they'll turn on you.

Better they be turning over in their graves, than turning on you! Just ask Jeff Picower! Or just ask Jerry Horowitz!

And Jeff, if you're reading this (What? Everyone should believe that you're not really playing golf with Ken Lay right now?); that was some nice bequest to April! Frankie--are you paying attention? This is how you're supposed to reward people!

Oy.

Next:
Mr. NosePicker--You're sitting on almost $2 billion in cash that's collecting interest, but instead of paying the 85-year old people that thought SIPC would pay off their claims months ago, you're busy selling my cuff links on the street corners?!

Ike: This guy Gene Licker; you weren't kidding when you told me he was a lapper! Ha!
Listen, do my friend Stan Chais a favor and help out. Don't worry about the hours, you're covered.

There's a reason why I'm going to be Time's Person of the Year! And Ruth--if that lunatic Sarah Palin is actually going to do her own talk show, then you and Shana should definitely take that deal with NBC.

BLM

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on November 13, 2009 (boomark / email).