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Law Humor
: Bernard MadoffBernie's Billionaire Buddies Speak Out

To: Bernie
From Jeff & Barbara Picower
First-we both want to say that Eleanor, Frankie D. , JoAnne and your other staff have always been very accomodating anytime we ever needed anything.
Moving around billions of dollars is complicated business-and thank God that Paul provided some good advice along the way.
On another note, Barbara was wondering how your son Andy managed to spend almost $3000 for a dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Wyoming. We all got a laugh when someone suggested that for that kind of a dinner check, we hoped that Andy might have gotten himself a housekeeper along with the dinner!
And that $500 charge that Pete ran up at that bagel shop? I told Barb that it must have been Sable's--absolutely the best place in NYC. He always knew where to get the best nova!
Our frustration is dealing with Nose-Picker Picard including us in the group of "blatant beneficiaries". There was nothing blatant about it. And everyone knows it. As far as 'preposterous returns of 900% on some of our accounts, any trader knows that there's nothing unusual about that!
After all--I read your blog yesterday and saw the comment that Enrica made about Andy saying the market was going to head south. So, what did I do? I shorted 500 S&P contracts at the close on Monday--and your little Mini-Midas Madoff son helped me to make a cool $10 million..almost about a 100% return on my capital in one day!
So kvetching about us making 900% in a year?? "Easy Peasy" as Frankie Beans would say!
This isn't to say that we're even thinking of retaining the moronic PR firm that Noel and FCG have hired to manage their crisis. Starkman would be my choice if it weren't for the fact that our feet are being placed in the fire, and its becoming embarrassing whenever I walk into the locker room at PBCC--especially when everyone reads about how much money we withdrew from our accounts within the closing months of '08.
We know this is a challenging time for Ruthie, and our door is open to her. As anyone can tell by clicking here, we have ample room for her to rest her feet. Since she kept the books for you and Pete authorized everything--or so you told us, no doubt we'll all be able to talk about all kinds of accounting practices.
Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on May 14, 2009 (boomark / email).
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