Law Humor

Bernie's Boys and Brotherly Love Blowing the Whistle

From: Mark
To: Andy

You're a complete dolt. I've told you repeatedly to stop with the txt msg'ing, but you think you're smarter than everyone else.

Now you've got that muckraker from the Journal bringing my name back into the media! What are you thinking??Just when we're about to file the whistleblower claim!

The lawyers have told you this at least one hundred times: we're entitled to at least $100 million for blowing the whistle on Dad. What do you think Sorkin meant when he gift-wrapped the Sarbanes Oxley Act and sent it to us a year ago??

Everyone has told us to keep a low profile, so that we can submit the claim quietly, but now that you're telling people that you want to open a "disaster recovery firm" ranks right up there with Shana telling people that she's interviewing for the top compliance job at Bear Stearns.

She should just keep peddling along like she is; the extra kid is an insurance policy against the Feds trying to prosecute her--its not like they're going to win any PR points for trying to prosecute a young mom with two little kids---just like they're not going to prosecute Nan. They've made themselves look stupid enough these days by overreaching on dozens of cases--and they know that going after a 70-year old Italian woman from Queens is going to open Pandora's box.

If you keep your mouth closed, and stop with the txt'ing, everything will work out. Christ--don't you read the papers?? Txt'ing is like taking an ad out in the newspaper and including your home address! Let the media focus on Tiger Woods---and keep f--king quiet!

And another thing, the firm's holiday party was moved to Monday night--that idiot Jodi didn't know that tomorrow is the first night of Chanukah..can you imagine?? Have that party planner send out the tweets and tell everyone to meet at Rosa Mexicano on 1st --and keep your cell phone in your pants--there's plenty of room there! Ha!

If you have to connect to me before then, use the throw-away phone, or email me at
mdm10012@gmail. And don't give that email address to anyone!

Mark

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on December 10, 2009 (boomark / email).