Law Humor

Father's Day Fricasee; Borowitz on Bernie

Remember when this picture was taken? Wow. It seems like yesterday. Who could forget? Not Suzanne--she actually recovered the photo from a box in the basement, and she thought you'd like it as a Father's Day gift. Andy says that Debbie has her own copy of the same photo in a frame and that its hanging next to a framed copy of the title to her house. The one that Andy signed over to her. I know you'd like to say that it was your generosity that paid for it.

I'm not sure if its funny, or just ironic. It seems like the women wound up with everything. Father's Day is supposed to be a celebration and a day that we're supposed to show respect to our Dads, but here I am, dealing with my own kids that keep asking me if they can change their names. Even the little one! Not even a year old!!

Anyway, we both wanted to say Happy Father's Day. For whatever that's worth.

Mom says its actually worth close $40 million, but she tends to exaggerate some times. Just like you. The good news is that at least one idiotic muckraker is now reporting that Picard says the number is closer to $12 billion, which is nothing close to the stupid $65 billion that the entire media was using to sell advertising for their news shows. Talk about crimes! They can say whatever they want, and get millions of people to believe it just because its coming out of a TV screen.

I hope you told that General Klotz that there should be an SEC regulation that requires business news to do real fact checking, and to prosecute the talking heads that make shit up for the hell of it. Ha! You'd have Donny Douche and Coke-Head Kudlow sitting in the cell next to you!

Anyway..as a Father's Day gift, we all chipped in to get you this book. Lizzy Mason, that gal from Simon& Schuster sent it over. It's actually hysterical, and I'm sure it'll make you laugh and brighten up your day. Andy thinks you'll laugh so hard it'll induce a twitch fit and cause you to drop dead. I'm not hoping for that, but as you've always said, its hard to predict the future.

Speaking of futures, you should know that at least some people appreciate me for my trading talent. You already know that our firm was sold to a group out of Boston, and they're resurrecting the market-making business. After I explained how the front-running, I mean fast-running software works, they've offered me a consulting a position, and part of the job includes bringing in some of the old team.

Adam is going to be in charge of the messaging system, and I'm trying to get Lipkin his old job managing the payroll system, and to get us all set up again with those Amex accounts. Birch is trying to get his old marketing job back; he tried to start a company called Gauge Trading, but for a marketing guy, I'm thinking he's off-base with that name. Sounds too much like Gouge Trading; not really the best name for a brokerage operation.

Uncle Pete and Marion invited us to Glen Oaks for the Sunday Barbeque tomorrow, sort of a Father's Day dinner, I guess. Not my type of crowd, really. Why Pete wants to stand in the buffet line with Mel Weiss's family is beyond me, and its a far cry from the parties that we used to throw at Montauk Yacht Club, but its the thought that counts. Speaking of Mel, you might want to tell Ike to put that place in West Virginia that he's in on your list of choices. The two of you guys could play backgammon. Just an idea.

Anyway, I've got to run. Stay in touch. And don't touch anything without using that Soapopular stuff.

And, have a Happy Father's Day!

Mark (and Andy)

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 20, 2009 (boomark / email).