Law Humor

Let them eat cake!

Dear Irv:

I might be 95 years old, but I can still read!!

I can't speak for Jeff Picower or Stanley Chais, but your accusations are nothing short of mind-boggling, even if my mind isn't as sharp as it used to be.

When I ask for extra mustard on a pastrami sandwich, is this a crime?? When I tell my tailor to put in a special pocket on my trousers, is this a crime? Of course not!

But, does this look like the face of someone that would tell his investment manager what kind of returns should be displayed on my personal statements??

And if I was as smart as you claim I am, and if I had known that Bernie was up to no good, why would I have sent him a check for $250 million just two weeks before he shit the bed???

Here's what I'm thinking: all of those resources that the government has to investigate might be better used to figure out whether those SEC investigators were using inside information to trade for their personal accounts!! Or instead of chasing after Chais, me, and a few other people that get the "over 80 discount" when we go to the movies, maybe someone should be chasing after all of that FART money that went up in smoke!!!!

Listen Irv--I might be an "old cocker", but I've given more money to charitable causes and needy people than anybody else in the world--except for maybe Bill Gates. Sure, my dopamine son-in-law was taken care of--what? you don't take care of your family? No different than Hank Paulson took care of his people when he had the keys to the printing room over at Treasury!

You want to recover money?? Tell Geithner to get some of that money back from AIG...the money that I took out went to feed starving people, not starving CEOs!

Your accusations are despicable--you should be ashamed of yourself!

Bernie--where did you buy those defibs?? I need one over-nighted to my place in Palm Beach.

BTW-- Bob told me that today is Ruthie's birthday. Mazel! She should live to be my age! We had Greenberg's send a cake over.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on May 18, 2009 (boomark / email).