Law Humor

My List of Assets: Delay Due to Snow

I know that Ira said he'd be submitting my list of assets today. But its snowing and Ira is busy right now. Actually, he headed home to Roslyn early today, the weather is for shit right now.. and I think he's got a 7 o'clock rez at Bryant and Cooper... Great steak place, great bar, and a real macha crowd. When Glen Oaks is closed for the holidays, this is the place everyone goes! And, the boys that own it are great guys too..

I'd have hand delivered it myself, but since I haven't had the chance to do a final inventory of the stuff in the Montauk house, and since I really don't know how much was really stolen from our place in Palm Beach, we've already gotten a verbal from the Judge that we can have some more time.

Listen--for those of you that think there's a stash of cash that I have access to in Lugano, or maybe someplace in the Caribbean that my yacht has docked in, I can only say that most of the principal that came into my firm was returned to investors. Its really that simple.

Ask my gorgeous friend Sonja Kohn! (That's her photo in upper left). Everyone with half a brain knows that Austria-based Medici Bank is one of the most sophisticated financial platforms in Europe. They people in Austria sing great too!! Did you Sound of Music the other night on TV!!?? I love watching those kids in those cute outfits!!

Anyway, Sonja knows exactly how much was actually invested. And, she knows exactly how much taxes that her investors reported on the gains.

And, what Sonja earned in management fees from her investors is something you can ask her. None of my business! And, I can only guess that she disclosed to them that our firm had a policy of compensating 'finders' based on assets that we managed.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on December 31, 2008 (boomark / email).