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I'm depressed this weekend.

It's lonely. Maybe I should get a puppy or a pussy cat.

Then again, I hate cats. So does Bernie.

Summer in New York is a horrible time, and it's hot and boring.I wish I were in the Hamptons, but so do a lot of other people, and they appear to survive.

First, my "darling sister" files a lawsuit against , then some bitch wrote an article calling me the" Loneliest Woman in New York."

Then I find out that little witch Erin Arvedlund is almost done with her book, and that she's somehow managed to find more skeletons in the closets than all of the other muckrakers combined. Good for her is all I can say.

As far as I'm concerned, she can climb into as many garbage bags as she wants, and she can write as much dirt on all of those greedy sows as she wants.

Its about time that everyone knows that it wasn't just Bernie. And he'd laugh at the irony too. After all, this Erin girl was the first one to write about him years ago in Barron's, and nobody paid attention.

Good thing they didn't. I'd be buying my Berkas in Bangladesh if they did. What fools! If anyone in government had half a brain, they'd hire this little girl to help uncover messes. But that's another secret I don't need to share with anyone. Why should I care, anyway?

As far as Joan is concerned, I'll let her husband live with himself for suing and bringing so much attention to them both. Putting in a claim for $11 million! Idiots! He hasn't figured out that it'll backfire when everyone figures out how much money they took out over the years?!

And, the real joke is on that skank writer from The Times. I'm a front page celebrity, and she maybe got paid $300 off my misery.

I have plenty of friends. I have my sister Joanie, I have Shana, and my dear High School friend, Cynthia.. and others I cannot mention. Of course, Bernie knew Cynthia too, but he liked me better. And thank God that she got her money out in time!

In fact, Cyn brought me nova from Gold's last week, and tonight the Lieberbaum's and your's truly are going to have a lovely dinner at the Dressing Room in Westport.. That's Paul Newman's restaurant. Well its not his anymore since he passed away, but Carole says that Joanne Woodward has dinner there at least once a week, and everyone there is so lovely, and the food is wonderful (although the service is a bit slow, but that's Westport, I guess).

Cynthia says that I should take the train. What a silly idea. Its not as if they clean them on weekends. And, what if someone were to recognize me?? The car service will have to do; Peter insists that its not safe for me to drive by myself.

Reminder: stop at Cocoa Michelle to pick up a gift for Cyn and Michael.

But, trust me, Your Ruthie is surviving just fine, thank you very much for caring, even if that stupid article says otherwise.

And screw Pierre Michel the Annoying Hairdresser, too.

He could shut his damn mouth already! With all the money I spent there, I could have been an owner! He isn't the only honey-colored Streak applier in the city.

I'm just fine hair-wise as anyone who saw me on TV visiting Bernie can tell.

My hair is great. My weight is great.

Some florist on the Island - I don't even know her!- has "banned" me !Ha!

Well, Hello!! Recognize Publicity Seekers?? I sure do.

All these people who "don't want my business" now, they all would have DIED to have it a year ago. And trust me, they'd be happy to have it now despite what they're saying. I see how these stores are doing. For crap. They're going to turn away cash- paying customers? I don't think so.

I won't forget. I have a mind like a steel trap, yes I do. And, it seems like that bastard at Sette Mezzo has a mind and a wallet like a steel trap. For a place that only accepts cash, and the fact that we've been going there for years, the nerve of that ass to say that we "owe" them $160. So what if we do?? If we didn't spend $100,000 in that place, we didn't spend a dime!

But, Dr Friedman was right: I need something to structure my time until I become a HUGE Media Star, which will be within a year.

No question - I will be the blonde, slim, Oprah - Martha- Barbara Walters - you name it. There will be books, DVD'S, TV Talk Shows. OH YES, THERE WILL!

I will be on top of the world and independent again.

It is simply a question of time and patience.

Meanwhile, Shana and I have a little idea for a business which ought to be fun - it involves clothes and shopping. Two of MY favorite things.

It seems that a lot of women, other than I, have fallen on hard times financially - and it wasn't only because of Bernie ( whatever it was he did).

A lot of investment companies screwed over their customers when the Dow fell faster than my formerly perky breasts. So here are all these women, like MOI, looking for clothes that are excellent, but cheap (good luck), and and hoping to sell their older clothes to make a little cash.

The fashionistas (Shana loves that word) call it "vintage clothing".. And its all the rage right now!

The Times was talking about how well Goodwill is doing. I was never in one of those stores, but I always heard the Council of Jewish Women Thrift shop was better.

Apparently Goodwill has been making an effort, which is really sweet of them, to get in better merchandise, and sell it not dirt cheap, but affordable. Like $400 for an $800 dress? That's great, right? I wonder if you can sell underwear and shoes, too? Old Pantyhose?

Ruthie has not lived 68 years without knowing how to survive.

I'm thinking, my vintage clothes have to be worth ten times their value because they are MINE!

Also Shana's clothes, and anyone else with our name - our things have extra added value. NAME BRAND value.

But how to do it??

Every time I look at my closets, I feel that I cannot bear to let go of the Chanel suits or the Armani's or the Prada's, or Hermes. What if I never get to shop again?

I cannot let it all go. I might NEED it.

I'm going to take a few pieces I really do not like, or too big for me ( I had once gained 5 pounds for a few months - that damn French food), so I have a few size 4's instead of 2's and 0's.

So, Diary, should I get a little vintage store front in the Hamptons (next to the temporary Hermes place), and call it:

" Madoff's Markdowns" or "Ruthie's Rejects"? or even "Crisis Couture"???

Obviously I can't stand on my feet all day and sell - so we'll hire someone. Maybe one of the " victims"? That is a GREAT idea. It's a wonderful gesture, don't you think? Or maybe we'll get that bitch Eleanor to work the store. How much could Vanity Fair have possibly paid her for that dreck she told them? And if she's so hard up for money, this will be a great job for her.

You watch, Diary, people will SWARM. The press will come, but in a good way.

OH, I know! I'll advertise that I'm giving 5% of the proceeds to Charity.

Hmm, which charity? That's dicey: Federation, Hadassah, Yeshiva U.?

UMM, better stay away form those right now.. maybe a nice animal shelter... the one on Long Island.

"Buy Ruthie's Rejects and Make a Dog Happy" - That might be a cute bumper sticker too for someone's Maybach or Mercedes.

What do you think? I am some little merchandiser, right?

I'm putting you away right now, Diary,and going to look in my dressing room and my other closets.

I wish I could sell Bernie's stuff. It's just sitting there, but I have to wait. Damn, so much fabulous Italian and British fabric in perfect condition. He's a 38 short - lot's of Jewish men are a 38 short with a 36 waist - and these are ALL made to order.

He has at least 20 suits - 6 grand a piece! 60 shirts 300$, at least, but Picard will get suspicious: the last thing I need right now.

Ok - off to play Dress Up.

Maybe some costume jewelry too? a few bags? I love a CHALLENGE!

XOXO _ don't slide out, you little Bifkeys.

RAM

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