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You are really all over the place trying to control us from YOUR CELL. Does it look like I'm in a place where I want to be controlled??

Between the control stuff, the twitching issues, and the OCD--Andy is calling it Over the Counter Disorder (did I tell you that he's now into comedy writing?), I'm thinking about not even going to your blog anymore.

We get that its hard to give up control when you have had so much, and then f--ked it up so badly, but we're both under the care of shrinks, and Mom is under the care of several shrinks (one to talk to, one for the meds, and another one, if need be, to help get her declared insane or unstable, so she doesn't end up like that bitch Martha in Kentucky or someplace with lesbians and really horrible food)

So trust us when I say that we're all shrunk like crazy. So maybe getting Mom some Caoni chocolate isn't a bad idea at that, great comfort food, and that stuff is GREAT! I'm also thinking of getting Frankie D. a pallete's worth. He's turned out to be a sweet guy.

And, the Mother's Day discount is going to come in handy...especially since we've already discounted Mom, not to mention the fact that the interest rates on my credit cards have gone up by like 5 pts. And those idiots Larry Kudlow and Donny Douche keep calling us 'criminals'. Its too bad that Sonny Cohn's people didn't wrangle then in as investors.

Anyway, I've already placed an order, and Andy says that Marcia would probably like the passion fruit version. All she has to do is click the photo.

But getting back to the point Dad; we've been called "pishers" by you for the last time. It takes a tragedy like this to make people grow up. We have definitely grown up--and btw, the trees around the place in Nantucket are growing in nicely too. Shana is growing up also, but she hasn't gained an ounce back, and her 2's are falling off her, so she's the only one that's a little cheery when she gets dressed in the morning.

But Shana is very upset about her " marriage," not because Eric hardly calls and almost never comes home. Or because he might be diddling the shiksa goddess that he's working with.

The problem is that he's saying "its now his bat and ball" and I'm hearing that BATS is actually putting in a bid for the BMIS assets. Talk about balls! He obviously knows what that software can do, and I'm thinking that Shana letting him have a key to the place was a really stupid f--king idea.

When Shana saw that photo of " Tami" ( with an "I" most likely with a HEART over the "I"), she almost flipped. Apparently Eric has more than one meaning for the word" BAT," and John says he's hitting 'em out of the park all the time.

Shana thought that it was all guys there at BATS, but little Tami is quite the looker.. especially in her "corporate" photo with the cocktail dress. You never hired girls like that for us!!.. We had Nan Bongiorno as our "female" executive!! Christ! No Tami's in our office, other than the ones in Pete's book. BTW--I ran into Spitzer in The Park. What a prick! He's adamant about keeping the book until his old man gets his SIPC money, and then he started ranting about how "no clawyers would have the balls to go after his family.."

Anyway, while you're busy catching up on reading and practicing your golf swing, here's a news flash from the former "Pishers"--

Back off!

The apartment is messier and a lot more comfy. Only two maids three days a week now. One does laundry and ironing, they both clean. No more black and grey uniforms either. Mom doesn't give a shit about the neat thing, and I hear she eats alone in front of the TV most nights and even drops - are you ready Dad - CRUMBS on the floor- and leaves her clothes laying around. How many twitches did that news bring on - huh, Dad?

Sure, we'll get her some of that Caoni Chocolate, and we'll pick up some flowers at a Korean store down the street - no more ZeZe, the Brazilian genius flower arranger for us anymore. Mom's got plenty of vases which haven't been seized yet, and ZeZe gets, like, $200 for a dozen tulips that cost $6 bucks at the corner fruit stand.

And, stop with the memos about our personal lives. Stop with the references to us as "dumb and dumber." You're INSIDE, we're OUTSIDE, and we have to make our own ways in this world. The loans that Mom gave us are non-recourse, and as far we're concerned, she can send you the BMIS stock certificates to use as wallpaper for wherever you're headed next.

The waxing thing has been a good fall back and Shana and Jodi have said that they've both learned a lot about how to keep only one set of books. We've also met a few nice looking girls.. at least Andy has. He says that "..when you see them in the waxing studio, you can see everything you need to see without even buying a drink or dinner, which is great!!"

Something you and Pete would appreciate, but right now, Steph's not finding those kinds of remarks very funny. But at least it's way to keep a little cash flowing until we set up our new business.

Dad, we're not telling you what it's going to be exactly, but it has to do with SHOW BIZ! So stay online and maybe you'll read about your 'pishers" becoming big shots in TV and movies.

Meanwhile, DAD, stop with the orders. You lost your officer's 'commission' three months ago..(another pun courtesy of Andy..)

Stay healthy and watch your back.
M and A
(could stand for Mergers and Acquisitions, Right Dad??)

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