Law Humor

As much as your 'boy' Frankie is hoping to stare me down so that I stay in line, the fact is my clock is ticking.

Sure, we all know that the "pros" had a deadline of today to either shit or get off the pot, but as your "boy" Frankie has figured out, deadlines get pushed back. Sometimes for good reasons.

The good news is that there are so many cases on the docket, this is going to take another few years to clear myself, no thanks to you. The bad news is that Picard is dragging his feet on the claim that I submitted, which means that I need to connect to Marcia and get an advance so that I can cover some bills.

I heard that she's getting a government job, what with the new benefits program announced by Obama the other day--and I was wondering if you could let me know where she is. Send your reply the usual way.

BTW- I could use a few new suits--and since we're pretty close in size, is it possible that you could have Ruth send me something from your closet?

D.F.

P.S. If I do wind up near the MCC on Monday or Tuesday, lets get together so that we can talk about the new IRS ruling on deductions. It'll be good news for your sister and some of the others that need deductions. But then again, I guess they need to have income in order to have offsetting deductions. Well, that's not entirely true. I can probably recommend some ideas.

To: Bitch Slapper
From: Your Old Buddy Reed

Hey Pal! What? You thought you could sucker punch me like a bitch and think that I'd be like you and crawl up in a ball and cry like a baby? Ha!

See that guy to the right? Get used to his picture. He's smiling because he's going to make sure that I collect what's owed to me, and Rich Stahl is going to make sure that he gets the bonus that your "goody-two-shoes" brother promised him.

Sure, you think its just another ham sandwich suit. Maybe. We'll see.

Its not costing me a dime, and if the lawyers think that its good publicity for them to part of the pile on of contingency lawyers, I say good for them!

How's the option trading going for you these days?

Reed

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 17, 2009 (boomark / email).