Law Humor

By Judge Jerry Buchmeyer

From Richard A. Hipp of Houston, this excerpt from the deposition of one of the plaintiffs in a "termite case." Richard sets the scene: The plaintiffs discovered several colonies of termites in their newly purchased home; after filing suit, the plaintiff "removed the interior sheetrock from the two bedrooms where the insects were located," choosing to "peacefully coexist" with the termites untreated and with the sheetrock removed - "until these fateful events."

Q. When Terminix came out in March of '91 because you had a swarming problem, what did you ask Terminix to do?

A. Actually, I was just alarmed, and all he said was, "Spray hair spray," and that's it.

Q. That's what he told you to do?

A. That's what he told me ... Well, naturally, he said - you know, they're always in sales, but I told him, "I'm not going to treat the termites. Just tell me what to do to get rid of the swarm." That's all.

Q. Did he ask you why you did not want  him to treat the termites?

A. Yes. I think I may have said we were in litigation.

Q. Okay. And he told you to spray hair spray? Did you?

A. Yes.

Q. Did that take care of the problem?

A. It sticks their wings together.

Q. It does?

A. Yes.

(Richard adds: "I found the solution to be creative, and debated with my wife whether to send this to you or to 'Hints From Heloise.' My wife won, so here it is.

Full post as published by Say What! on November 04, 2009 (boomark / email).