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: Lag Liv

Dear Ms. Google,

By Anonymous

As I've done before, I thought it would be fun to share a few of the google searches that have brought lost souls to my blog. Most searches involve the bar exam, pregnancy, law school (especially law school and pregnancy), and baby/toddler issues. And because I think several people were looking for answers my blog did not provide, I thought I'd provide a little commentary to help them on their journey for truth:

anyone know when they release texas bar exam scores: I get about ten searches a day regarding the bar exam, "easiest bar exam?" "texas bar exam" and the like, but I chose this one because of the phrasing. When searching with google I usually just throw in a bunch of key words, so my search would look like "texas bar exam score release date," but I enjoy the conversational approach of this person- kind of like they're asking it aloud in a crowded room. And while the internet may be akin to a very crowded room, I think the keyword search is more effective. But to answer your question, the Texas scores were released in early November.

do women enjoy getting pregnant: Getting pregnant? yes, unless you're doing something terribly wrong. Being pregnant- not so much. I'd say the getting pregnant was the best part of those 8 months.

third trimester and no sex drive: Yeah, that sucks- and describes my entire pregnancy. Despite all the reasons Landon gave me to fear for the reality of baby #2, that is the only part I'm truly dreading.

my husband doesn't like me moaning about my pregnancy pains: Seriously? I was hoping those kind of guys had been eliminated through natural selection. Tell him to shove it and moan away or start a blog - or both, then you can moan about your pregnancy and your neanderthal husband.

law student best time get pregnant: I think it's a good time and there's never a best time, so do what's best for you. If you're asking for the best time while in law school I'd say 3L year or at least any time after 1L.

my pregnant girlfriend is offending me with her mood swings: This cracked me up. Once again it's all in the phrasing. I'm trying to imagine this man sitting down at this computer, pulling up google, and entering that phrase. What was he expecting to find? I love him a little for not saying "my pregnant girlfriend is acting like a bitch" or something like that- apparently he's just finding her moods a little offensive.

how can i make my husband's belly bigger: Why do you want to? Desserts, ice cream, and pizza do the trick for me.

postpartum sex sucks: I disagree.

why is my child crying and stuffing his hands in mouth: because s/he is teething and teething is a bitch. I have found little that works, but a few options are Tylenol, Motrin, frozen wash cloths, orajel (or it's much stronger cousin, Hurricaine Gel), teething rings, and sadly, time.

infant tummy troubles and texas: Is there anything specific about Texas that you think is causing this trouble? Funny enough, when I mentioned this search to JP he said, maybe they were asking if Texas would cure the troubles. I have to admit, that spin on it hadn't occurred to me- I was immediately wondering why Texas was causing this poor infant pain.

waving the white flag to a toddler: Also cracked me up- and made me nod with sympathy. When Landon is acting particularly toddlerish I: try to find humor in the situation, express some sympathy for his frustrations and then walk away and do something else until he's done, read a book out loud until he comes and sits with me, and/or call JP and tell him to come home. They all work to varying degrees at different times.

why do some lawyers love law school and hate practicing? Because the two have almost nothing to do with each other.

sharing my husband: I'm not a good sharer, I have no advice.

rude people who put their seat back on airplane: Tell me about it. But be careful, some people get very offended when you suggest their lawful exercise of airplane rights might be irritating to you.

bread and cheese breakfast Sounds delicious! I'm not sure why you were googling this as it's fairly self-explanatory, but if you'd like ideas, my favorite bread and cheese breakfast is a lightly toasted bagel, covered in grated cheddar cheese, and placed under the broiler for a few minutes. Yum!

big puffy pancakes recipe: You can find one here. Mine was not what I envisioned, but it was tasty!

how to get 70% in law exams: Aiming high, no? If you really want to know, I found it helpful to review someone else's old outline the morning of the exam and then spot two issues in the fact pattern and explain them as best I could. As long as you display some legal knowledge relevant to the subject matter it's almost impossible to fail.

how to write a 25 page paper: What were you expecting to find? Sit down at your computer, open Word, and start typing. Stop when you get to 25.

So there you are. I'm not sure many of these people found what they were looking for, but hopefully google eventually showed them the way.

Full post as published by Lag Liv on January 16, 2009 (boomark / email).