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: Thanks, But No Thanks.

Internet, meet Sputnik.

The Nobody Law School Family is growing.

As longtime readers know, the Nobody Law School Family currently encompasses Roommate (partner in crime, general voice of reason), Darwin (that lovely boy who dates/loves/tolerates me and talks me off of cliffs) and Sofa the Cat (squishy lap warmer). We amble along in relative harmony, a happy little family. It's not 2.5 kids and a dog, but then, we're not exactly a traditional bunch.

Recently, the family got a little bigger. Here's how:

Darwin and I were just getting home from the grocery store. It was raining, cold, and gray outside. NoTown does not believe in seasons: NoTown only endorses "cold" "muggy" and occasionally "blissfully fall-like." Though it may come as no great surprise to you, Internet, I was tired, up to my ears in journal work, and feeling a little intellectually insufficient and emotionally vulnerable (this is important for later), so the dreary weather was a perfect match for my Eeyore attitude.

Darwin stepped out of his side of the car, and bent down to pick something up. I stopped to look when he came around the car, and low and behold: it was a box from the pet store. It was smaller than a shoebox, soggy, and emblazoned with "Take me home!" on the side. The box was also shivering and shaking.

Now, I cry at SPCA commercials, so this was a little bit too much for my overwrought sensibilities. If it is furry and found at a barnyard, zoo, or pet store, I love it unconditionally (snakes and scaly things excepted). The thought of someone leaving a perfectly nice animal alone, in the parking lot, in a puddle, waiting to get run over, on the way to his 'new home'...Have you seen the Sarah McLachlan commercial? The effect of seeing that sad, wet, shivering little box elicited "Arms of the Angels" status sad on my part.

Without opening the container, Darwin and I rushed inside with our new pet, Anonymous Small Thing in Box, and debated what to do with it. I suggested posters- some sad person had lost their pet! He suggested finding a better home for it- whoever left Anonymous Small Thing in Box in a puddle in the parking lot was clearly not a responsible pet owner. He had a point.

Standing with Anonymous Small Thing in Box in the living room, we debated what to do with him. We decided that the most responsible course of action would be to go back to the store, and get some kind of temporary housing for Anonymous Box-Thing, then have Darwin bring him to work to see if one of his coworkers would adopt it. As a precautionary measure (do we need a bird cage or a Furry Thing cage?), I cracked open the side of the soggy box, and a cute but unidentifiable furry little nose poked out.

I refuse to be responsible for my actions after this point in the story. Cute wet furry noses sniffing at your fingers are enough to make even Chuck Norris weep.

We headed out to get a temporary cage for Anonymous Small Thing in Box, determined to find him a responsible home. We didn't even make it out of the parking spot before I was in negotiations with Darwin. The result: Anonymous Small Thing in Box stays, Darwin gets to name him. Meet Sputnik, the no-longer-anonymous, no-longer-in-box, newest member of the Nobody family:

I am a sucker. He is adorable. Sofa is thrilled.

Full post as published by Thanks, But No Thanks. on September 19, 2009 (boomark / email).