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News, and Relief

By Anonymous

JP finally got hold of our investigator around 6pm (I tried to write this post then, but Landon was NOT amused by my inattention). Apparently she just needed JP's statement that he had tossed Landon because her notes only had me saying it. Since this is what they've pinned the entire neglect finding upon, they needed the story to come from him. Never mind that it was in the orthopedist's report and the hospital social worker's interview notes, and that there is no possible way that action could break the ribs of a normal baby, and the whole finding is bullshit... but that's what it was. JP was IMing me during the phone call and in response to my typing "WHAT IS GOING ON?" about 10 times he wrote, "there is no change. the supervisor will sign off and we'll get the notice in 2-3 weeks." I expressed my relief and he said, "it's still slowly dying. when we get the letter she said to give it to [our lawyer] and appeal." He got the impression she's still irritated that this is how it ended and thinks our chances at appeal are quite strong. So after another night of DCFS-induced worry, hopefully our last, it was nothing.

I hate the emotional wreck of a person this investigation has made me. I am normally a calm, practical, and emotionally stable person who is successful at focusing on the realistic and positive in any situation. But I was a mess while waiting for JP to tell me the result of that call- and then once he told me I started crying. Like out-loud, tears streaming down my face crying. I never cry! I was just so relieved it wasn't anything worse- even though the rational part of my brain (what's left of it) knew it didn't make any sense for the finding to change at this point. It's just that I got a hint of those feelings of fear and helplessness while someone else makes a decision that affects your entire world again, and it terrified me. Once I was done crying and hugging a mildly perplexed Landon, I wiped off my cheeks, got out some squash puree, and fed the little guy his dinner.

Back to normal.

Full post as published by Lag Liv on January 03, 2008 (boomark / email).