Legal Commentary

As the legal technology community gathers at the Aria hotel in Las Vegas for the opening day of the International Legal Technology Association's annual meeting, you might assume everyone would be absolutely abuzz about virtualization, e-discovery tools, and SharePoint.

Nope. The number one topic of Monday conversations was lighting. Or, should we say, the lack thereof. As Joni Mitchell says, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."

The guest rooms at the Aria are proof positive that sometimes, you can have too much technology. Where do I start? Well, how about opening the door to your room (when you finally get your room, but that's a wholeeee 'nother story -- along with the challenges caused by Aria's internet service being offline almost all day Monday).

When the key works (see whole 'nother story) you are startled by the sound of curtains moving -- sensors immediately open the blackout curtains (no doubt closed to save energy by keeping the 100-degree Vegas sun out of your room when you aren't in it and don't need the view). Score 1 point for Al Gore.

But then, you try to turn on the lights. Emphasis on "try." Logic and Pavlovian-dog experience dictate that when a light has a switch, you simple toggle the switch to turn on the light. Those rules don't apply in Vegas.

Turning on the lights at the Aria is like solving a Rubik's cube. There are eight different light panels --plus a device that looks like a countfeit iPad on the nightstand of the bed. Theoretically, you control the lights from the fake-iPad "touch screen" or the television (IF you can get the television to turn on.)

For example, I could not figure out how to turn on the little desklight so I could type on my computer. I had to call the front desk twice -- and finally an "engineer" left me a note explaining that to turn on the desk light I had to let the ersatz-iPad touch screen authorize it.

The good news: There are so many input/output jacks on the room on the desk station, you could probably launch a rocket from your room: HDMI, VGA, S-video, video/audio in/out, iPod/iPhone and USB charger plugs,  audio in (looks like it's for a mpg player) 2 power plugs, and a reset button.  For a very reasonable $22 you can buy a tech kit with an ethernet cable, an iPod cable, and a PDA charger with 5 tips (but caveat, the box doesn't bother to tell you which PDAs are served by the 5 tips, you just have to guess by looking at the box).

But if you plan to actually sit at the desk and work, well, there's a problem. The chair is about high enough for a 5 year old. It's pretty, but functional -- not. (Fortunately, housekeeping brought me a grown-up chair).

There's even technology in the huge "mini-bar." It automatically charges you when you pull an item, so no sneaking out to the convenience store to substitute a $1 can for the Diet Coke that will cost you $4.50. At least you could never starve in this room. There are four different Aria-branded nut choices alone, plus an Aria-branded Martini Shaker Kit, numerous Aria-branded chocolate, and even Aria-branded "signature hand crafted" potato chips. The mini bar includes even more branded sugar options and a "romance kit" (which for some reason they did not brand.)

But there is no coffee. I cannot remember the last time I stayed in a hotel where I could not make myself a cup of coffee. So at 5 a.m. this morning, I reached into the aforementioned mini-bar for a non-Aria-branded Diet Coke -- but I guess the faux-iPad had not permissioned the refrigerator to turn on. Oh well. Must be another hint they want me out of the room so the motion detector can close the curtains again.

Anybody got a flashlight?