Miscellaneous

Florida Epitomized

Last week, we posted a story about a pizza shop owner who pistol whipped a customer who complained that his take-out order was incorrect. We thought at the time that the owner had perhaps blown things a little out of proportion. Now we understand why. He was a mafia hitman in the witness protection program!

A former mafia hitman turned informant looks like he may lose his federal protection in the witness protection program over a calzone. Joey Calco, the man who made a name for himself when he turned on the Bonanno crime family and ratted out consigliere Anthony Spero in 2001, has been living in Florida and running a pizza place under the name Joseph Milano. When he was arrested last month after being caught on tape beating down and pistol-whipping customers at Goomba's pizzeria who complained about a calzone, a Daytona paper matched his new identity to the man known as "Crazy Joe" as part of the "Bath Avenue Crew."

Calco himself was convicted for two murders he pleaded guilty to in 2004 and was out of prison two years later. After "Milano" was arrested for charges of possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, the newspaper's discovery prompted police to reveal his true identity and charge Calco under his real name.

The former mobster has also been sued for sexual harassment while running Goomba's. The News points out that he is not the sharpest tool in the shed, detailing how he repeatedly struggled to remember the word "foyer" during one of his trips to the witness stand. Below is the video of the attack that could end up making him a marked man.

I think the real question here is why the Feds would even allow a guy in the witness protection program to open up a pizza shop called "Goombahs." Goombas, people. That's just too goddamn perfect. Our taxpayer dollars a work, folks!

(Super Special H/T branded)

Full post as published by Quiz Law on February 10, 2009 (boomark / email).