Law Humor

Senator Agrees To Do That Crack Cocaine Thing

Posted on July 17, 2009
Possibly the high point of the Sotomayor hearings was this comment to a witness by Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Alabama): Sessions, in a casual tone, said "Mr. Henderson, It's good to work with you. Senator Leahy and I are talking during...

Saudi Arabian Family Sues Genie for Harassment

Posted on July 16, 2009
There are probably some translation issues with this story, but so be it. According to Arabic news sources, which I of course read diligently, a family in Mahd al Dhahab, in western Saudi Arabia near Medina, filed a lawsuit in...

Man Fined After Altercation With Punching-Bag Machine

Posted on July 15, 2009
On July 9, a court in Ireland fined a man 2,000 euros for damage he caused to a punching-bag machine he punched at a local festival. The court rejected his argument that he had acted only in anger after the...

Financial Crisis Comes Full Circle As Bank Sues Itself

Posted on July 14, 2009
According to reports last week, Wells Fargo Bank NA is locked in a legal battle in Florida with an equally-matched opponent who will be almost impossible for it to defeat: itself. The Consumer Warning Network website reported on July 2...

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Judge Finally Gets Around to Ruling on 26-Year-Old Case

Posted on July 13, 2009
Recently, District Judge Ronald McPhillips of Toole County, Montana, ruled that James Rubow had not breached his agreement with Milan Ayers, who contended that Rubow owed him millions of dollars for improperly taking his share of a natural-gas field. This...

Appropriate-Shoe Motion Added To Lowering the Bar's Pleading Archive

Posted on July 10, 2009
It seems appropriate to add the "Motion to Compel Defense Counsel to Wear Appropriate Shoes" (PDF) to the Archive of Useful Pleadings, and so I have. If you encounter any other pleadings (or court orders, opinions, etc.) that you think...

Motion to Compel Defense Counsel To Wear Appropriate Shoes

Posted on July 09, 2009
Our lead trial counsel has a "lucky tie" that he wears every day (or at least he did during jury selection) even though it's getting a little threadbare. This is a fairly common habit among trial attorneys, and I haven't...

The Verdict is In: Juror Wanted to Go to Jackson Memorial

Posted on July 08, 2009
As you may have heard, Michael Jackson passed away recently, and a memorial service for him was held on Tuesday here in Los Angeles. (I am normally located either in San Francisco or in my underground lair, but am in...

Gambler Appeals; Wants More of His Money Back From Casino

Posted on July 07, 2009
A 67-year-old South Korean man who lost millions gambling is appealing a decision in which a court ordered a casino to pay him the equivalent of over $2 million (U.S.) in damages for allegedly turning a "blind eye" to his...

Yankees Fans Now Free to Move About During "God Bless America"

Posted on July 07, 2009
Yesterday, the New York Yankees, the NYPD, and the city of New York settled a lawsuit filed against them by Bradford Campeau-Laurion after he was thrown out of Yankee Stadium last year. Campeau-Laurion said that he had gotten up to...

Terrorist Watch List No Obstacle to Bomb-Buyers, Says GAO

Posted on July 05, 2009
The New York Times reported recently on a Government Accountability Office study finding that people whose names appear on the ginormous and ever-expanding "terrorist watch list" have had little trouble buying guns and explosives. The GAO found that those on...

Court: Man Burned at Burning Man Assumed Risk of Being Burned by Burning Man

Posted on July 02, 2009
On June 30, the California Court of Appeal held that a man who was burned by the huge bonfire that ends the Burning Man festival each year could not sue the festival organizers. Anthony Beninati admitted he had intentionally walked...

DOJ Moves to Dismiss Geronimo Skull Suit

Posted on June 30, 2009
Legal Times reported on June 12 that the Justice Department had moved to dismiss claims brought by a group of Native Americans who are hoping to recover Geronimo's remains. See "Geronimo's Descendants Sue to Get His Skull Back," Lowering the...

Meat Thieves Captured

Posted on June 29, 2009
Police in Spokane, Washington, reported last week that they had arrested the ringleader of a meat-stealing operation that has plagued stores in the area for some time. Christopher Webber was booked last Thursday on charges of "leading organized crime...

Weapons Conviction Thrown Out Due to Counsel's Napping, Magazine Reading

Posted on June 25, 2009
On June 15, a New York judge set aside a conviction on the grounds that the defendant's attorney had provided ineffective assistance of counsel. For future reference, your lawyer may be providing ineffective assistance if he or she is sleeping...

Tip: Reckless Nude Driving Apparently OK in Georgia

Posted on June 24, 2009
I somehow came across a report last week discussing what sheriff's deputies and state troopers were doing in Ware County, Georgia, a rural county down near the Florida border, on the night of June 12 & 13. Sure, they came...

San Francisco Docket (June 2009)

Posted on June 23, 2009
Here are a few cases filed in San Francisco Superior Court during the past couple of weeks. I hasten to add that, as with all my "docket reports" of this kind, I know nothing about these particular cases other than...

Beauties Behaving Badly

Posted on June 21, 2009
As you all know, the world has been riveted in recent days by an ongoing struggle against oppression and injustice. Also, I think there is something going on in Iran. Here at home, tensions continued to escalate as Carrie Prejean,...

City Attorney Apologizes for Trash Can Incident

Posted on June 19, 2009
Sometimes after a long week of legal work, a guy just needs to unwind, and then find a quiet place to catch up on much-needed rest. The gentleman pictured above has issued a public apology for the sleepytime incident, but...

City Workers Ordered to Wear Underwear

Posted on June 18, 2009
Thinking about a vacation? Be sure to consider Brooksville, Florida (pop. 8,000). In addition to everything else Brooksville has to offer -- three city parks, a nine-hole golf course, and "an excellent library" -- Brooksville can now assure visitors that...

City Council Members Settle Legal Dispute Over Right to Parking Space

Posted on June 17, 2009
In March, two members of the Oakland (California) City Council finally resolved an epic and high-stakes legal battle after a fight that lasted three months and spawned a legal opinion by the city attorney. The burning question: who was entitled...

British Manufacturers Offer Pointless Anti-Stab Knives

Posted on June 16, 2009
Popehat reports that a British manufacturer is planning to offer "anti-stab" knives, driven by an increase in knife-related crime over the past few years in that relatively gunless land. The manufacturer said he had been inspired by a documentary in....

Foundation Announces 12th Annual Dumb-Warning List

Posted on June 15, 2009
The Foundation for Fair Civil Justice, a tort-reform group, recently announced the winners of its 12th annual "Wacky Warning Label" contest. While I dislike the word "wacky" almost as much as "Ahmadinejad," they do come up with some very funny...

Crunch Berries: Reconsideration Denied

Posted on June 13, 2009
I should have checked the docket again the other day when updating the saga of the Crunch Berries litigation. As I noted on Friday, the plaintiff had moved for reconsideration of the judge's decision to dismiss her case without leave...

UPDATE And Comment On The Crunchberry Litigation

Posted on June 12, 2009
The tale of Janine Sugawara, the woman who sued the manufacturer of "Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries" for allegedly misleading her about the "berries," has turned out to be extremely popular, bringing literally tens of thousands of people to this...

Internet Blamed for Latest Face-Stealing Incident

Posted on June 11, 2009
Just the other day I was writing (again) about the Case of the Taster's Choice Guy, a former model who posed for a picture in 1986, forgot about it, and sixteen years later happened to see his own face on...

No Right to Honk, Judge Tells Chicken Lady

Posted on June 10, 2009
In a landmark First Amendment decision that will disappoint drivers everywhere, the Washington Court of Appeals has ruled that honking a car horn is not necessarily protected speech. As you might expect, the case arose from a dispute about chickens.....

Lawyer Charged With Billing During Sex

Posted on June 09, 2009
As I think I have mentioned before, surprisingly few jurisdictions actually have rules making it unethical for an attorney to have sex with his or her client. It is never a good idea (okay, almost never), but often is not...

Jay Wexler's "Holy Hullabaloos" Book Published

Posted on June 08, 2009
Just a heads-up that Jay Wexler's book, "Holy Hullabaloos: A Road Trip to the Battlegrounds of the Church/State Wars," has been published. Jay is a professor at Boston University School of Law, who teaches a variety of classes, including on...

Firm's Valiant Layoff-Spin Attempt Fails

Posted on June 05, 2009
From the ABA Journal: "No Layoffs" at WilmerHale, But Firm Asks Some Lawyers to Find New Jobs Based on comments posted on the Journal's website, this seems to have fallen a little short of the mark in terms of reassurance....

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